[possum220]

Hello People,

I am so glad I found you.

I have been diagnosed with Depression Anxiety and DID (but not really sure about that). Then I just read something in here which makes me think I have borderline personality disorder instead.

Its all a bit confusing - but I'm still glad to be here.

Hopefully I will be able to make some sense of it all - eventually.

Cheers

possum

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC and the forum. I hope you find the support you are looking for.

BB

[Rhapsody]

Welcome......

May YOU find peace and help with in the walls of PC.

[wanttoheal]

Welcome possum220562 We're glad you're here and look forward to hearing more from you.

[possum220]

Thank-you Rhapsody and Bi-Polar Bear,

Its nice to be welcomed. Yes, Last night I took the sanity test. One of the areas I have difficulty in is the technology area. I knew I had a problem with being on the computer too much but didn't realize that it had been named. So after being in here for too long and getting frustrated my neck started to spasm - which often happens in real life for other reasons. I must remember to breath. I also need not stress that this post is in the wrong area either.

I will get the hang of it. If I have questions about symptoms of DID where do I put them please?

Possum

[possum220]

I think this might be the place to put it. Maybe life will get easier to do stuff once I have posted enough.

Some times I struggle with the label of DID. In my mind at times I think there is nothing wrong with me. But this is at odds with the other voices that come out of my mouth. They dont have names and my psychiatrist doesnt want to give them names.

I have great difficulty hugging people as my body will often go into a spasms which can hurt the other person emotionally and physically. My neck goes into spasm at times and I just feel numb. Also my neck will just nod at times.

I also stutter - In an chat room no-one can tell.

Life gets hard.

Possum

[multipixie9]

hi and welcome, possum. i think this is a place to put DID questions. also, if you look up at the top of the DD section there are some "sticky" postings which have information in them on DID.

i am DID. i had questions, reservations, doubts, fears, worries about mpd/did. i've never met someone with this diagnosis who did not have concerns/reservations about being given this dx. i was in my 40's when i was given the dx. i fought it for years until i finally realized i had alters who's job was to deny that we are did. feel free to write and explore and ask and feel and whatever you need to do on this forum. there is time and there are people here, good people. i wish you well and hope you find encouragement as well as support here.

leslie and her pixies

[possum220]

Thankyou Leslie or multipixie

I only know two people (until now) who have DID. I appreciate your sharing about the alters that didn't want to believe it. I must have them too. I am also in my 40's.

I wish I could confine my symptoms to the P'docs and not lose control in public. Its so embarrassing. and the more embarrassed I get the harder they are to control. Maybe there are some tricks I can learn? I hate scaring people with the voices. One comes out that is loud and harsh..... monotone.

At least My P'doc is lovely and I can see him once a week. I just take a Polar Bear with me to hug. Oh My - a 40yr old hugging a big stuffed polar bear.

Possum

[DianasClan]

Greetings possum220562,

This is a great site. I am new here also and am DID. Ok I am an alter who is part of a larger clan. We do have names although it is not a requirement and some of our clan members dont have names persay. I want to say welcome and please ask questions. We learn when others ask.

And I would like to say there is nothing wrong with holding a polar bear for security. We all do what we have to. Diana (our host) is 36 and perfers to not think of us. She perfers to deny our existance. This is a problem for us. I hope that like you she will come to this site and ask questions and read our posts to get to know us.

Again welcome and as you post it will get easier to post. They only monitor your first few post then they ok you to post on your own.
Sincerly
Denise of the Clan

[possum220]

Dear Denise,

Thank you also for your kind welcome. I love your signature on the bottom of your post. Life is like a box of chocolates and I always get stuck with the nuts. I often use that phrase - but insert coffee instead of nuts as I hate coffee - lol.

I would like to deny the alters existence but I cant do that when they burst out of my mouth. I guess they are just sick of being ignored, so they take the opportunities as they arise.

She doesnt like us disturbing her existence. Are we allowed to speak in here? Is that allowed?

Time to take myself away now.

Possum

[DianasClan]

Are we allowed to speak in here? Is that allowed?

Yes hun you are allowed to speak here. This is a great place. Hopefully as you get comfortable you will post and she can read the posts and get to know you more. This will make it easier for healing to begin. I look forward to getting to know you all.
Denise of the Clan

[multipixie9]

thanks for your kind words, possum. there is something i experienced that might help you. during many of the early times when i was struggling to adjust to this strange new idea in my life. i, the host (leslie) did not want "them" interfering with "my life". the harder i tried to suppress them, the more difficult it got in here and the more problems they "created" for me. SO...i had to learn that i must accept them, talk to them, ask them questions and listen to their answers (this can be done in journal fashion too). honestly, the more i've been good to them and behaved acceptingly to them, the less stress inside and the less "acting out". they are capable of getting attention in slightly unpalatable ways if they feel they have too.

plus, i recently learned that all multiples have some internal fights for control of things and i do believe that. the best way for peace inside is to seek to know your "others" and look, with help, for ways to bring peace and healing to all these inner family members. no matter what their job is or how they are behaving now, they started out doing a job to help the "host" or "core person" survive and they need to be respected for that. that doesn't mean that i let my suicidal alts DO their job. but i do respect that they had a job that they thought was for my benefit and for the insiders - certain abusers promised slow, agonizing death if we ever spoke about their torture and they gave us reason to believe it - so suicide looked like escaping through the "backdoor".

possum, all the things i'm telling you took time for me to absorb and truly believe. but, if you could get hold of some beneficial truth sooner than i did, i would feel very happy. what's the use of experience if it ONLY benefits me..

i've been with my counselor for 14 years - not that i am bragging on that figure mind you - BUT - she offered me a hug after every one of our over 1000 meetings and it took about 5 years to tolerate her touch and even nowdays i do not always accept contact after the session - maybe i should hug her going in, it might be easier...lol. the point is that she wants to comfort me when the work is hard and i can't always accept it. SO..be yourself and if hugs hurt, don't feel bad about putting your hands up in a stop gesture and say "thanks, No, i don't wish to be hugged today."

the point of counseling and therapy is to help you and your insiders.

PS: EVERY ALTER IS OPENLY WELCOME TO VISIT HERE AND TO POST AT WILL. EVERYONE'S VOICE, OPINIONS, EXPERIENCE ARE EQUALLY VALUED AND ACCEPTED!

many people here will help and support you. be cautious but not paranoid, ok? hugs and welcome again.

susana mariah for the pixies

many people here will help and support you. be cautious but not paranoid, ok?

Welcome Possum.

hey possum............welcome...........i got did to.

[turquoisesea]

heya, a bit late posting here but wanted to welcome you here

One easy way to think about what you "can post here"... is pretty much anything. Here is a place where not only do you not have to worry about how weird what you're feeling sounds, or if you're not "you" when you're writing (and yes ... I've seen alters write here btw and that's fine) but also there may be people who UNDERSTAND, can help , and maybe even have had similar experiences My general rule for posting, is just to make sure I don't harm anyone else here, to be nice to others basically. Respect everyone as they respect you and you should be fine

So... basically no worries

I'm glad to meet you, I hope to see more of you on the boards
hugs,
~turquoisesea

[queenie123]

hi possum, I'm new here too and just wanted to say hi

[possum220]

Oh My............!!! - lol

I just saw page two. The support in here is amazing. As I read the posts I find the voices inside responding. Don't entirely feel comfortable about letting them out. Sometimes they are just plain nasty.

Why should we help her? Why should we talk to each other? We don't want to do that. She is just a b**** really.
I don't have to hug anybody. I don't want to hug any-one. I wont let her hug any-one.

I am just so tired i cant finish this.

AAggghhhh

possum +

sorry - this is a stupid post.

[turquoisesea]

not a stupid post not at all
it's good that you can start talking about these things,
for me... that was a major step I had to take.

I have some strange experiences... parts of me can be nasty here and there too... it's weird when one part of you calls the other a ***** x.x no fun...
but... what I've come up with to explain it, is that a part, no matter how small, is feeling and expressing itself that way.

I'm glad you're posting, i've got to get some sleep now *glances at time*
but I'll see you around
*hugs*
~turquoisesea

[possum220]

Dear Turquoisesea,

It does feel uncomfortable and strange 'letting' them get talk in a forum. It means I have to type what they say. I, the main person have to allow them out.

I am going to see my p'doc tomorrow and ask him what he thinks. Will my giving them access to talk in here make things worse or better for me? Even though they are me.

I don't know.

possum

[turquoisesea]

Honestly , I'm not sure if it would be good bad, neither, a mix, just not sure.

What I DO know from everything I've seen heard and experienced is that you can't deal with a problem without first accepting it's there, and then learning more about it so you CAN DEAL with it.

So.. .posting with them here could help you do just that. At the very least, it explores how to deal with them, how to work with them, and how to let them be expressed.

So, overall I'd say it's a good thing.
Just... try it out little by little and see how you feel overtime

*hugs* hope all is well

[___Shadow___]

yup, let'em talk
helped me too
WELCOME

[possum220]

Hi all,

Yes, I asked my shrink if it would be okay to write in here and he said it may be helpful. But he doesn't want me to split anymore. (Neither do I).

From all the support AND understanding (which hasn't ever happened before) I think this may be a very good place to be.

I hope I am not posting too much. Can a person do that?

Possum

[Hunny]

Hi Possum,
You are neat!
See you around.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by possum220562

I hope I am not posting too much. Can a person do that?

Welcome Possum!

You can't post too much for us but you can post too much for yourself. You would know that you were posting too much if it is making you overwhelmed, etc. Pay attention to yourself. Some of us dive in and spend too much time here at first. I did this at first at another website! I loved it and spent hours but too much of anything is not good! Balance with everything is a good policy. Just pay attention to yourself..

Interesting comment that your pdoc made about him not wanting you to split anymore. My opinion on that is that you are already split and you split because of bad experiences which are over now. You could identify others who have always been there but have been silent. (and it is good for them to be heard because reintegrating comes after everyone is heard, etc.). I think that the only way that you would split more is to be in more bad situations. What does everyone else think?

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Welcome Possum!

You can't post too much for us but you can post too much for yourself. You would know that you were posting too much if it is making you overwhelmed, etc. Pay attention to yourself. Some of us dive in and spend too much time here at first. I did this at first at another website! I loved it and spent hours but too much of anything is not good! Balance with everything is a good policy. Just pay attention to yourself..

Interesting comment that your pdoc made about him not wanting you to split anymore. My opinion on that is that you are already split and you split because of bad experiences which are over now. You could identify others who have always been there but have been silent. (and it is good for them to be heard because reintegrating comes after everyone is heard, etc.). I think that the only way that you would split more is to be in more bad situations. What does everyone else think?

good post