[multipixie9]

earlier this morning i came online to check in and to encourage friends if i can. and then i discovered i am having a g.i. bleed. i've had much g.i. problems, in major part as a psychosomatic response to stress and abuse. even having the kinds of tests necessary to check out my lower g.i. track is triggering. it is scaring me. so...

i am back to share my weakness as well as my strength right now. i am in the age range for colon cancer and i am afraid to call my doctor and perhaps start a series of unpleasant and scary medical experiences that i've had many times before. some of them i refuse to do unless sedated and i make no apologies to them for my attitude about it.

the encouragement i got from deborah getting some help and being up front more often is keeping me from panic and an emotional nosedive, but my littles are upset and i do not have anyone locally i can call for encouragement. so i am sending this out to you guys in cyberspace. i know what i need to do, stop all nsaids like aspirin and get in to be seen if this doesn't clear up quickly. i am saying this online as a confirmation that i don't want to stick my head in the sand and not take action because of fear.

i'm not really asking you all for anything, though you are all very encouraging when i come here in need.

(she may not need nuffin but i don wana go to no doc an let dem do stuf to us, it brings bad stuf up an dey mite hurt me. i don wana tak my clos off an i won do it so there. jus u try an mak me strip an ill kik sumbody. don nobody mess wif me u here me, lesle??????)

um, yes, i hear you, miss pixie. maybe u and i can talk about this offline, ok? i know you are scared, me too.

oh well, we are not in good shape physically due to staying at home too much and bad eating habits, but we will find a way to take care of this, i just don't want to deny what is going on as we often have done due to fear. thanks for listening. hugs ya'll

leslie and all

You have made some good positive steps here. Acknowledging what you have to do--stopping the nsaids, working on eating habits, moving the body more......

i do hear you about how upsetting medical tests can be. just went thru a bunch.

we have vicki inside to takes care of the littles. they have a safe place and play room they are in most of the time. it has a door. when the adults have to go thru testing or this upcoming surgery, vicki keeps the littles safe in the playroom with the door closed. they have alot of fun things to do there and don't know what is going on outside.

can you make a safe place for them so they are not involved with the plans for tests and dr visits? is there someone who can stay with them so they don't know what is going on in the adult world?

just some of my thoughts.

keeping the little ones safe was one of our first priorities in our therapy. they are the most vulnerable.

wi

[Safron]

multipixie9,

Writing about it helps so keep typing.

We're here.

{{Hugs}}

[multipixie9]

thank you so much, white_iris. i do not have organization like that in my head. it is dark and formless. i mostly hear and feel my alts and so i do not have a planned way to help littles or those who fear pain and not having their clothes on (our favorite form of attired is overalls - not stylish, but difficult to remove without consent ) so, i am not sure how to help those of us who fear except with the medication they have given us for anxiety. but something this invasive is pretty over the top for us. today we will just talk to doc, but gi tests are notoriously unpleasant and difficult to endure for us. so, its trying to do one day at a time.

thanks for the tip, Safron! HUGS for you both!

leslie and pixies

[Sannah]

Leslie and Pixies, I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself! I am very thankful for Deborah too!

[DianasClan]

We know how bad those gi test can be. we had to endure them several years ago. i dont think i could go through again with out some anti axiety meds either. just know that we are here for you and offer lots of hugs.

vbox for the clan

at one time our inside world was void and dark also.
I went to a meditation class and went thru some guided relaxation. The presenter then said we were to go wherever we were led to go. I was led to a beach and found a cave and there I found my insiders around a large council fire. I saw all of those whose voices I had only heard. They invited me to sit with them as they introduced themselves.
That was my first step into helping to create a safe place for them and beginning to know and have some communication.
just my experience
wi

[turquoisesea]

hi pixies, I wanted to send you hugs

I understand about hospitals. Kit is very very scared of them and so am I. Kit is more scared than I am. She says she wants to hugs your pixie lots and lots. we were in hospital yesterday and today but we made it ok we were visiting but we know you can be ok too.

I am really glad you're getting yourself going, I am very proud of you for doing that. If you can, try to explain to the little pixies who are scared what you have to go for as best you can in simple terms so they can understand. I don't know about your pixies but Kit misunderstood alot in the hospital she thought many things did stuff they didn't. Things are very scary in there and look very strange but you and I know why they are there and that they are there to help, maybe the littles can't understand this.

I just wanted to say many many hugs and hope you do ok, always here to talk.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sending you all hugs and encouragement, I'm glad you're taking these positive steps

[Safron]

Originally Posted by white_iris

at one time our inside world was void and dark also.
I went to a meditation class and went thru some guided relaxation. The presenter then said we were to go wherever we were led to go. I was led to a beach and found a cave and there I found my insiders around a large council fire. I saw all of those whose voices I had only heard. They invited me to sit with them as they introduced themselves.
That was my first step into helping to create a safe place for them and beginning to know and have some communication.
just my experience
wi

Oh, that sounds so cool.