[Kiya]

Today i worked from 3-6 and had a lot of 5/6th graders talking about what they are learning in their health classes (very triggering for me) so i spent a lot of time tyring to keep their talk appropriate, telling them this is not health class - since they argued with me. I didn't have a panic attack, or switch. But i did mess up some paperwork and also @_@ left a little k or 1st grader outside at 5:30 when we went in to the computer lab. He joined us about 5 minutes later, but i have *never* ever forgotten a kid before. not ever. in my 20 years with kids. I am shocked. No harm came to him. but that is so not the point... i forgot him!! @_@ I knew he was there just minutes before, was watching him (separate from the other big kids) but I hurried them in because i felt i was losing me... it was more of mini fugues.... I knew getting the big kids on the computer would get them to stop that kind of talk. It still didn't change my personality - but it really concerns me that I forgot a kid. =( that those fugues caused me to lose him in that moment. That can't happen again.

[Typo]

awww Kiyacat it is okay, little kids are tricky and like to slip out from under your sight.
Sounds like you did an outstanding job keeping things under control in a triggering situation. What matters is that you found the kid and he is safe.

((((((((((((((((((Kiyacat)))))))))))))))))

All is well hun, you did a good job, don't beat yourself up over it, I think you handled the situation well

Lots of love
Lilfish aka Silver

[Luce]

Aww, sorry you had a hard day.

Don't beat yourself up too much about the little kid. If it helps any, once I accidentally locked a three year old in the school resource cupboard! Yeeeikes!

[Sannah]

I'm happy that you handled the triggering situation very well. Good work..... And as for the kid, no harm came of it. We handle kids like glass now. When I was growing up in the 60's and 70's as a young kid, this wouldn't have been any big deal..........

[Kiya]

(((((((((sannah, luce, silver))))))))))

thanks y'all, i'm hoping nothing comes of it today at school. I have one more afternoon in this placement. On the other hand, the other teacher doesn't even watch them out on recess... she does paperwork. So, I dunno. It does get to me about the kid - but I'll try and free my conscious from it.

(((((((((((((((((((kiya)))))))))))))))))))))) the child is safe and all is well!!!

Even someone who ISN'T feeling triggered and trying not to switch makes mistakes sometimes. You did a great job in a really hard situation.

Forgive yourself and move on to today

[DianasClan]

I just want to let you know that you did very well in a hard time. Watching kids no matter what the situation is hard. We understand how you feel about forgetting the little one but we are sure that he is fine. Please don't be to hard on yourself about it.

(((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))

Denise of the Clan

[Kiya]

((((((((((((tree, denise)))))))))
ty - i did fine today - no one said anything about it to me (something i was worried about as well) and the kid was fine. there were quite a few other things to deal with todya @_@ so I am glad i am doing so much better or i think today would haev put me over the edge...

[Miri]

Originally Posted by Kiya

Today i worked from 3-6 and had a lot of 5/6th graders talking about what they are learning in their health classes (very triggering for me) so i spent a lot of time tyring to keep their talk appropriate, telling them this is not health class - since they argued with me. I didn't have a panic attack, or switch. But i did mess up some paperwork and also @_@ left a little k or 1st grader outside at 5:30 when we went in to the computer lab. He joined us about 5 minutes later, but i have *never* ever forgotten a kid before. not ever. in my 20 years with kids. I am shocked. No harm came to him. but that is so not the point... i forgot him!! @_@ I knew he was there just minutes before, was watching him (separate from the other big kids) but I hurried them in because i felt i was losing me... it was more of mini fugues.... I knew getting the big kids on the computer would get them to stop that kind of talk. It still didn't change my personality - but it really concerns me that I forgot a kid. =( that those fugues caused me to lose him in that moment. That can't happen again.

Hey Kiya, i just replied to what you posted to me and came back and read your post. I am a teacher was a teacher, until the depression forced me off the job 9 years ago. I LOVED teaching, taught kindergarten. I came to it later in my life and guess what, I "lost" a kid too, on my very first day teaching kindergarten. He actaully ran out of the classroom at dismissal and as I didn't know which parent belonged to which child yet, somehow he got past me. He ran out to the front of the school and that's where his Mom found him. She came in and told me, not angrily though and i give her a lot of credit for that. I was sick about it. I was so good at watching out for my kids, and all the kids at our school. I think every teacher probably has a similar story, something that makes them shiver just to think about the "could haves," but most teachers don't have DID and these things still happen even to excellent teachers. We're human. You are probably more diligent than most folks because of your life experiences and I bet that it won't ever, ever happen again because someone inside will make certain of that, even if you do get triggered. You were brave to admit to it here and I'm glad you did. It proves that you are a very conscientious person and I'm sure an awesome educator! My principal told me to "Take it under advisement" regarding my lapse and I pass that onto you. It's when we don't learn from our errors that we are in trouble, and it is obvious that you have learned something very important today. Be well, be calm, be brave.

[Sannah]

I love to hear that you are doing well Kiya!

[Kiya]

Thank you so much for your post - that helps to know those things. Off to a new job... (sub) all I get these days is extended day care... so today means kindergarten!