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MissCharlotte
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Default May 07, 2009 at 09:52 PM
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Tonight in T I experienced something different. I felt separate from the world as if there was a space between me and T/the room/ etc. But simultaneously there was a space between me and myself. It feels like a huge magnet is pulling me away from everything and I am fighting this pull but I can't win. I couldn't connect with T at all and it was very frustrating. Yet meanwhile I am watching this whole episode and I know it is frightening because I can't make myself come back. I started to cry. I was also very tired this evening. Has anyone's dissociation worsened when you are tired?

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Default May 07, 2009 at 10:22 PM
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Oh Yea...or coming down with a cold or something...we've felt the disconnect from all of us. I don't like it at all.
Hope you feel better soon; that's an awful feeling.
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Default May 07, 2009 at 11:00 PM
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You Betcha!! Oy...when I get tired, my dissociation definitely gets worse. Not only that, but the light in any room starts to move. (Not the actual lights/lamps, but the light itself) It gets all squiggly and I start to see things in multiple slow motion. It gets a bit crazy!!

Take care.

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Default May 08, 2009 at 07:38 AM
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Yep, tiredness can do that but also if you are touching on something in therapy that is unfamiliar or scary. Sometimes we realize after a few days what was going on and why.

Hugs (((((((( MissCharlotte )))))))))

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Default May 08, 2009 at 10:46 AM
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I get very tired in T, just like I can't move almost. Just drains all the engery out of me. My dissociation gets 10x's worse when I'm tired or stressed.

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Default May 08, 2009 at 09:32 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((((Miss)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Yep - being tired,sick, stressed makes it a lot worse.

I also get very sleepy sometimes before I switch...like I am drifting off to sleep...even if I started out wide awake.

Many to you.
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Default May 09, 2009 at 02:33 AM
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oh totally worse when tired or stressed. (((((((Miss)))))))) be good to you!!!

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Default May 09, 2009 at 07:43 AM
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Yeah, when I tired or not feeling well, I have a tendency to dissociate and depersonalize even more. Not even from the world, and other people, but like you said myself, (and reality itself as well!) I guess I should consider myself lucky that when things like these things happen the first thing my mind severs from is emotion so I don't panic during...so there isn't a reason to feel scared after either?
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MissCharlotte
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Default May 09, 2009 at 02:30 PM
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Oh boy. Last night I slept for 12 hours and thankfully, woke up feeling grounded again. Then I mowed the lawn to make sure I stayed grounded! LOL

The experience of checking out and noticing it is distressing but then waking up and knowing you've been gone for two days is even more upsetting on some level. Here's the thing--I worked and I remember everything so it's not like I forgot about what I did, I just did it all in a very disconnected way. Last evening the feelings were so overwhelming that I had to take 2 klonopin to break the episode. Maybe this is part of healing? I mean noticing the dissociation (depersonalization and derealization) as it was happening?

I had a mini phone session with T to talk about the intensity of the feelings that came up last evening and the fact that I feel like I have been dissociated for two days. Sigh. He is the best T in the world.

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Default May 09, 2009 at 03:46 PM
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((((((((((((((((miss!!))))))))))))))
Grounded is good =) Yay you! You do have an awesome t! I too had a mini phone session with t the other night - is nice to know that ppl care so much for us.

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MissCharlotte
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Default May 09, 2009 at 10:50 PM
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Yes, (((((Kiya)))))


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Default May 10, 2009 at 09:07 PM
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((((((((((((((( Miss Charlotte )))))))))))))))

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Smile May 12, 2009 at 03:58 AM
  #13
Glad it settled back down Miss C. As you see we all feel like extreme emotions or fatigue/ill health tends to make us dissociate more. i am not as aware of the depersonalization factor myself. i am having problems finding my words, it's very late, sorry.

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