[arcanum]

Even though after many years of happy marriage my husband turned into a selfish pig, i still mourn the loss of our relationship and our dreams. We were married for nearly 20 years and have a beautiful daughter who is 19. When we married i felt he was my soul mate and that we would be together forever. Unfortunately many years ago i was diagnosed with a degenerative condition and then at 35 had a nervous breakdown due to bullying bringing back bad childhood memories and as a consequence all the problems that i had been suppressing most of my life. Although my ex recognised all my problems and said he understood, he did not accept them, he became very selfish and was only interested in himself and his 'me' time. Went away at times leaving me unable to even feed myself so he could go 'play' in the mountains with his friends.

We had planned such a perfect life, but its an imperfect world at times, we are all imperfect and things dont always go the way we would like. In November this year we will have been separated for two years and i will start divorce proceedings. He is already living with his 3rd girlfriend since we split! I may mourn for what we lost but i scorn the man he became, he hasnt bothered even to see his daughter since we split, she told me to leave him several times before i did and i guess he is punishing her for that.

I am happy now though, i may be ill both physically and mentally but he wasnt going to ruin my life too! I am engaged to a very special man who has accepted everything completely from the start and is there for me however i feel and whatever i need.

[Catherine2]

Thinking of you...
Thank you for sharing, arcanum.

Catherine

[arcanum]

Thank you for your support

[LSCS628]

WOW!!!! WHAT A COURAGOUS WOMAN YOU ARE! SOUNDS LIKE YOUR EX IS A VERY SHALLOW PIECE OF A MAN. I AM AWED BY YOUR ABILITY TO SURVIVE AND TO SEE THAT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE 'OUT THERE' FOR YOU.
THE GRIEF THING IS NOT FUN, IF YOU ARE A LITTLE LIKE ME, YOU USUALLY DON'T KNOW WHENIT IS GOING TO SNEAK UP ON YOU.
WHAT A WONDERFUL GIFT YOUR EFFORTS HAVE PRESENTED YOU WITH. LET THAT MAN OF YOURS WARM YOUR HEART ESP. WHEN YOU HIT THOSE RUFF SPOTS AND TRY TO REMEMBER HOW DESERVING YOU ARE FOR THE LOVE ANDCARE HE SHOWERS YOU WITH.
YOU ARE A VERY AWESOME WOMAN! GO GO GIRL!!!!!

[arcanum]

Thank you

Yes the grief creeps up at times, but often its something very sudden that causes a happy memory of something that was right and i miss about him. I have to avoid a whole country that i love because my grief is too great, we used to climb and hill walk together in wales, we climbed the highest mountain there together not long before we split, it had been a goal of mine that i had to reach before my body became too useless. He said afterwards that he didnt think i could do it!! So much for support eh?? Just another nail in the coffin of our relationship to me though.

I am very lucky that i have some excellent support, firstly from my daughter, who is one in a million and my greatest achievement in life, but also from her boyfriend who lives with us, my fiance of course, who i adore and also my sisters, many friends, both old and new and my soul brother Angel. They are the best! And now since being on this site only a few days, have even more support which has been very uplifting.

Life is for living so thats what we should do, we all deserve to be happy

[TUMIgirl]

You are an incredible woman and an inspiration to the rest of us. It is sad that the father of your daughter has chosen to be absent from her life. One day he will realise what he has done and then he will have to live with it. I am pleased to hear you have someone special in your life. You deserve it. Whenever you fell down, remember how far you have come from then. Remember to smile and the whole world smiles with you.

[arcanum]

Thank you so much TUMIgirl for your words and support ~ you made me smile this morning