[AmynAz]

Hi!! My son is 15 years old (just had BDay this month) and he just came home from a visit with his grandmother(my ex-hubbies mother) and said while there his father came by to see him and to see his mother. I had called to talk to my son while ex was there- my son was having a very bad attitude while talking to me. So I had asked what was wrong with him and then asked if he had any beer with his dad - because my ex had given him a drink off of his once before. This was NOT alright with me and my son wasnt allowed to go see his grandmother or father for almost a whole year because of it. Anyway my son said no to me and we got off the phone after a while. Well my son just told me that after he hung up the phone his dad told him he should have a beer with him - that he might as well do it if he is going to get accused of having done it by me anyway. Then he told my son to chug it three or four times cause my son didnt like the taste of it. My ex has had a drinking problem his whole life as did his father whom died from liver cancer 10 years ago. I am sooo mad about this - I have through the years talked to ex about this and have threatened him should he give my son anything ever that I would call the police etc. Last time my son was sooo mad at me for not letting him go see his dad and grandma - it was hell for a very long time. So my question is - what should I do about this? I am sooo mad at ex but dont want to alienate son and or make it so he wont trust telling me anything by my actions on this. Thank You - Amy

[jerrymichele]

I would be upset to. What I would do is make a phone call to the ex. I wouldn't even tell your son about it. Your ex might be doing this to get back at you. Tell him if it happens again that you will do supervise visitation with him. Safety for your child comes first, so if that means making someone upset then that is just what you have got to do.

[Shangrala]

Originally Posted by jerrymichele

I would be upset to. What I would do is make a phone call to the ex. I wouldn't even tell your son about it. Your ex might be doing this to get back at you. Tell him if it happens again that you will do supervise visitation with him. Safety for your child comes first, so if that means making someone upset then that is just what you have got to do.

Dang, Michele....
You give some good advice! I would have never thought of that.

This is a hard situation, cuz this is primarily a matter between the adults, yet directly includeds the child, (dad using son as a tool and deliberately disrespecting both you and your son).
Hard choice to decide what to do.
Michele...you found a solution to it perfectly.....Yay you!...lol.

Amy, I hope this works out for you. I don't blame you for being upset whatsoever. It amazes me how blatantly inconsiderate & spiteful some people can be out of their own selfishness and ignorance.

Best wishes~

Shangrala