Separated Again! This is getting old!

March 3 I will have been married 32 yrs. Everytime my illness has acted up my wife throws me out. Which has been a few to many times. I thought my vows said for better or worse? My wife only seems the better. This time I moved out of the state. This time I'm not going back. I would get a divorce but I don't have the money to do it. Can anyone relate to my situation? If you understand what's going on you are doing better than I am. I don't get it!

Well good grief!! I don't know how your illness affects you, but she sure isn't very supportive!!

What happens when you have a flare? Do you break things or something? Why does she throw you out? It seems that she's taking a very drastic approach! I would think that after 32 years, she would be able to handle things a little better than this!! If she's that unhappy, she should have left long ago.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't know the whole story. It would seem that her reaction is a bit much but there again, I don't know.

A little more info would help. Take care. Hugs, Lee

Thanks Lee,
I'm bipolar and usually when I am sick I get manic. I don't hurt anyone or get violent. Usually these episodes are for a very short period of time, because I stay in close contact with my Dr. and are corrected with a change in medication. I think the problem is my wife suffers from depression and takes medication for it(that isn't working). Having said that it seems(to her) I am the one with a problem and I am the one who has caused all the problems in our marriage. I don't think there is a solution to this short of getting a divorce. We have tried counceling and just about everything else.
Anyway Thanks Lee

Well, gosh ~ you shouldn't have to be taking all the blame for this!!! It takes both of you to work on this marriage -- there is really NO blame. You both have problems and you're both working on yourselves!! I'd say that's great!

I'm sure that you get upset sometimes at her, but you know that it's her disease talking and not HER. I wish she could understand that of you. I think that she's going to be upset when she realizes what she's doing. I really dooubt that she WANTS to divorce you. After living with you for 32 years, I'm sure she has come to depend on you and love you. She just doesn't know how to cope with her disease -- OR yours. It's a shame that her therapist hasn't taught her more coping skills. Perhaps she hasn't even discussed her marriage with him. If not, then that's even MORE of a shame.

I hope that you'll talk with your therapist about this. All is not lost. I don't think that YOU want a divorce do you?? I'm sure you're getting tired of being thrown out all the time -- but maybe your therapist can think of something to help you. Please talk with him. God bless and PLEASE keep me posted?? You can message me -- I really care. Hugs, Lee

Awh, I'm really sorry to hear this. My first marriage broke down under the pressure of my illness, and my ex's depression. It's tough.

My marriage failed for many reasons as well, but it started with me having depression. He always felt like he was to blame for it, even though he wasn't, and things just got worse and worse.

The thing is about people, and it's really sad, is that they get impatient when it comes to illness. Especially mental illness. "Why aren't you better now?" was a recurrent theme towards the end of my marriage.

Most people who have their own issues don't understand (or want to) the issues of others because they are so clouded and somewhat isolated by what they think is their own reality. It's hard to get out from under that dark cloud, especially when there is no support system at home.

All I can say is that I feel for you. I'm sorry this is disrupting, if not ending, your marriage. You shouldn't waste your time with someone who is some self-centered with their own problems that they can't take a moment to empathize with yours. It IS a two-way street when it comes to this. And I'm sorry you don't feel cared about when it comes to your illness.

But this place is great for what you wrote. We're here to support you, no matter what. And from someone like me who can understand where you're coming from, I hope you get all the support you deserve.

So sorry you're going through this. I hope you have some friends or family you can lean on during tough times like this. Even for men, it's important to have support.

I would echo what everyone else has said, all good stuff.

What I've learned from my marriage/separation/divorce situation: It takes two to build a marriage. One spouse can destroy it single-handedly even though most of the time both are involved. But it definitely takes two to maintain a healthy marriage.

So my two cents here: If both of you are willing to work on yourselves and find a way to come together and support each other, great - keep at it. Otherwise, don't waste any more time. Life is too short.

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope by the time you can move on. Hope you have family and friends who has been supporting you.

as someone who dated a bi polar man its very tough , however she needs help too good luck