[Brokenjewellery]

My boyfriend recently ended our relationship after 9 years together.
I am finding it very hard to cope. I cry everyday, when I talk to friends about it. None of them understand I don't know anyone in the same situation as me. I am completely heartbroken. I feel like I could just give up, I don't want to feel this pain anymore. We had and lost a daughter together, we shared 9 years, we were best friends. I lost everything... I lost him

[onegirltwisted]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this much pain. I know I couldn't understand your situation if I tried because we're all on different paths in life, but I was with my baby's father for 5 years, my first relationship and I was very young. He was abusive and at times very terrible to me. He left me on a whim to move out of state and I became homeless. I was absolutely heartbroken to think that someone I cared about so much could do that to me. I'm a very emotionally passionate person with a big heart. I was devastated at first but as time went on I became stronger and after a while the pain stopped. Even though to this day he doesn't think he did anything wrong and doesn't care to speak to his 4 year old child, I can look back and be glad for the experience because I learned so much. I know it's hard, my most recent boyfriend just left me as well. I just keep trying to remind myself that even though the relationships have been unsuccessful, they're learning experiences to teach us so that we can grow. I hope sharing my story helps and I hope you can feel better!

[lexie86]

I dont undertand how your friends dont understand why your so sad you spent along time with this man and your going to hurt for a while. when my ex broke up with me i cried and cried and i even tried to end my own life, i still cry but its getting easier to manage the pain. Though i still think about him and love him, and wish things could be different. Even though the relationship ends does not mean the loves dies, it stays with us and we just have to some how move on. I think your depression is also coming from the loss of your child and i am so sorry you had to go through something like that!. You are going to get through this just take it one day at a time and chin up charlie, time does heal all wounds well i hope it doesnt. I think your friends need to be more supportive, because as women talking out our problems and our pain really helps, we get to obsess for a while.

[Gilead]

Originally Posted by Brokenjewellery

My boyfriend recently ended our relationship after 9 years together.
I am finding it very hard to cope. I cry everyday, when I talk to friends about it. None of them understand I don't know anyone in the same situation as me. I am completely heartbroken. I feel like I could just give up, I don't want to feel this pain anymore. We had and lost a daughter together, we shared 9 years, we were best friends. I lost everything... I lost him

9 years is a long time to spend with someone. Of course it's hard to cope and you're crying everyday. Don't give up though - from experience I know that it will get better - it might be just a little bit at a time but it will. I hate the pain you're feeling - I can probably describe a lot of the thoughts you're having but that won't do either of us any good. Sometimes you just need to let the tears come out and then try to let go for awhile and distract yourself with something else. And when they come back let them happen and start again. After awhile the time between the tears will grow longer and longer and you'll feel alive again. I'm sorry I haven't a better answer or method for getting beyond it - but mostly I'm sorry for your pain.

[tohelpafriend]

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can work through the emotions of pain with your T if you have one. That is a long time love with all the bonding. I hope you find relief. I understand broken bonds and they hurt. I truly hope you get through this with courage; it doesn't sound fair. Ended relationships by one person usually don't have the other person's rights and feelings in mind. I'm so sorry for your pain. "love is a battlefield."

[Brokenjewellery]

Thank you all for taking the time to answer me.
I feel like everyone is very supportive and it really does help just to hav ppl to talk to.
Today is hard because it's ex boyfriends birthday today and we are not spending it together! And tomorrow will be 4 weeks since we properly split up.
I hope I feel better one day but just now I can't see it.. I miss my best friend!
xkim

[PBJandPICKLES]

...ooooorrr... you have everything. We focus on one person and make them the center of our universe when well.... it just ain't so doll. I understand more than I can put into words what you're feeling and even years later I'm still a f-kd up mess that's unable to let go. Something that's been helping me lately though is removing myself from the scenario and thinking about it like an outsider, an objective third party and trying to get some perspective.

A realistic perspective (no sugar frosted, rosy colored romantic, gooey crap), but as in... if he doesn't love me of his own free will then WHY would I want him too? What point is there to "making" somebody love you? Can't be done. To love is to give & if you have to take it then what's the point. Kinda takes the shine off the romance doesn't it? Instead of pidder-padder of my heart it's more like a wet blanket, begging somebody to hang out with me or enjoy talking to me. Ha! Screw him, he should be so friggin lucky to talk to me. Are you gettin it?

Hope it helps, been there, half there, half gone, know it sux.

Originally Posted by Brokenjewellery

My boyfriend recently ended our relationship after 9 years together.
I am finding it very hard to cope. I cry everyday, when I talk to friends about it. None of them understand I don't know anyone in the same situation as me. I am completely heartbroken. I feel like I could just give up, I don't want to feel this pain anymore. We had and lost a daughter together, we shared 9 years, we were best friends. I lost everything... I lost him

[Hoppipolla]

Hi. Weird, when i read your story, i thought you may be my ex!!!

We were together. 8 and a half years, lost a daughter...strange how you think you are the only person in the world going through this...you're not.

I feel and empathize totally with you.

Distance set in, she was keeping me at arms length, as she had a v difficult child, wouldn't let me go to the house, i started resented this and her. 6 weeks ago, the texts just stopped, she text last and then i was so hurt and confused, one day turned into 2 weeks of NC..then a phone call from a friend. She has changed her Facebook status to "in a relationship"...with my friend!!!...It's like she stuck the knife in for 18 months, then twisted it at the end with her betrayal, possible cheating and cowardice. Words can't explain what I've gone through the last 3 weeks, it's been a living nightmare, but I've stuck to no contact, deleted all her stuff and am tending my open wounds.

Just thought i'd let you know, you are not alone, please let your pain come...it will go..one day.

Stay strong.

[Brokenjewellery]

Hoppipolla, thnx for responding, it is nice to know I'm not alone hope your doin ok!
It's really hard just getting through everyday, kinda sucks!
Take care. Xkim

[Hoppipolla]

Originally Posted by Brokenjewellery

Hoppipolla, thnx for responding, it is nice to know I'm not alone hope your doin ok!
It's really hard just getting through everyday, kinda sucks!
Take care. Xkim

Hi, I know it is hard, but all we can do is take it one day at a time and not look too far ahead.

I realized looking at the dates your post prior to mine yesterday, was over 2 months ago...what has happened since then...how are you feeling now?

I've had the worst day since the first day...think it might be the date...been a month today since i found out she was a cheater.

[Brokenjewellery]

I still feel just as bad everyday. Sometimes worse.
Some mornings I wake up and iv maybe had a dream just about my old life and for a few minutes when I'm awake I think everythings the same... Then it hits me 1000 times harder than before. I have so many regrets I think of how things could have been everyday. I'm not coping well at all. I feel kinda lost

[Hoppipolla]

Originally Posted by Brokenjewellery

I still feel just as bad everyday. Sometimes worse.
Some mornings I wake up and iv maybe had a dream just about my old life and for a few minutes when I'm awake I think everythings the same... Then it hits me 1000 times harder than before. I have so many regrets I think of how things could have been everyday. I'm not coping well at all. I feel kinda lost

Me too, lots of regrets...it's like there's a fog around you when you're in the relationship. Only when you lose that person do you look back and go over what you could have said and done differently with more clarity...but too late by then.

So sorry you're not feeling any better yet. Do you talk to people about your hurt and grief? What would help you move on right now?

[dusty9838]

I'm very sorry you're having to go through this. I am going through something very similiar as well... I recently lost my girl of over 10 years. I'm 31 years old so that's 1/3 of my life just gone.

I am trying my best to cope everyday and I know sometimes it is hard to hang on... I, too, wake up some mornings after a nice sleep and feeling it hit me 1000x harder than it did before.

I hope you get to feeling better soon and this site is a very good coping resource so I am glad you found it. I know I'm glad I did.

Good luck to you and hope you feel better soon