[Pippilongstockings]

Argh! Feeling really angry at this stage – its been a month since my husband moved out – we had been together for 8 years and married for 1... He initially told me he just wasn’t as committed to the relationship anymore, and then when I persisted to understand why his feelings had changed he told me he had kissed some other woman on 2 separate occasions and if he could cheat on me like this then there was no commitment from his side. This followed about 2 months on and off when he stayed at his parents and then decided that he needed to move out. This was when he actually said that he had been lying and he had actually slept t with this woman. The infidelity had been 8 month previously and he couldn’t live with the guilt! So he packed up his stuff – left all the presents I had given him in the 8 years we had been together (he didnt think he was being nasty by doing that, he just wasn't in a good place when he moved out, he later said)and has maitined radio silence except for emails to sort out one or 2 bills. He has also said that I can keep all the furniture as I deserve it as it was he who was in the wrong. He has run home to mommy who is, in my opinion creating this awesome environment for him to ignore his issues. I’m angry cos he packed up and said it was “Best for me!” – so I have had no decision in the matter, nor was actually able to get angry with him for his infidelity. I have wanted and suggested counselling to actually try to work through this, and he just says it wont work. He cant bring himself to actually say that we should get a divorce – he refers to us “dissolving” the current situation?!?! I mean really! Now it feels like there is a Mexican standoff cos he is happily ignoring the situation and waiting for me to get tired and actually initiate any kind of divorce proceedings so that its not him.

[mgran]

Oh my, I'm so sorry Pippi! I think I know you from another forum... just wanted to say I'm really sorry to hear this. His trying to avoid conflict is just making things even harder for you. He's being very immature about this, I'd say passive aggressive even. I hope you've got good people around you to support you?

[Pippilongstockings]

I must say thatg my support circle has been great and posting here always helps in terms of getting an objective view - good to know my feelings are not totally misdirected.
Not easy dealing with a passive aggressive person. Been giving him space in the mean time, taking it a day at a time kinda thing cos December gets difficult with the holidays looming like this huge thing.
The whole thing just seems silly to me - we are grown up and have made grown up decisions and have to deal with the consequences. The most frustrating thing is this is hanging and dragging, I unfortunately like closure either its going to be this way or that way and the fact that he's cut me out of his process of dealing with this is upsetting me.
But everyone deals with things in their own way... its just difficult when you think they're doing it wrong
Anyway this site makes me feel great so thanks to the community in general.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

sorry that youre going through this :/

[Precious_P]

He don't deserve this type of attention! He is an asshole and he needs to be with his mom and whoever else wants this loser! 8 years! And I thought I was depressed after 1! Please don't even think about crying! Get sexy, get a date, and show him what he left!