[frogsrock]

I married my husband 3 years ago. He had custody of his 3 kids. When I came into the picture 6 years ago the kids liked me, after we married they turned on me and I'm sure it has a lot to do with his ex-wife being jealous and affraid of me taking over her roll as monther. I reassured all the kids I'm not there to take their mothers place, but I love their dad and I will be there for them if they ever want/need me....To date: two out of three kids don't have anything to do with us and the 3rd kid wants to move out now. I honestly don't see me as the big problem but their dad, my husband. He gives no attention to the kids and now that they are teens they are getting into trouble and I believe its for SOME kind of attention from the parents.

I am unattracted to my husband now because I see him as an awful parent.....

Anyone wanna dicuss a similar matter?

[Yoda]

Well it wasn't about stepchildren but when my son was born my husband (his father) gave him little attention. My husband and I already had our own problems and I was seriously considering divorce. When my son was a year and a half old my H poured some gasoline into a pop bottle and put the cap back on and left it lying on our front porch. When I told him that was dangerous because our son could open the bottle and would think it was soda and H's response was, well you leave dangerous stuff out too like your fingernail polish.

Idiot. It confirmed that he wasn't and probably never would be a good parent so I no longer wanted to stay in the marriage to benefit the child. Unfortunately since they are not your biological children you won't get to take care of them when/if you divorce but yeah being a bad parent is very unattractive.

[bertieb]

Hi frogsrock. It sounds like you have had a terribly stressful start to your marriage and I am so sorry. I am only five months into a blended family and we have no quarrels or problems from or with the kids, except they stay in their rooms. I am still always stressed just with the changes and trying to make sure everybody is happy and fed. I admire you for the efforts you have made so far and agree you are right for being their for the kids and not pushing. Not sure about their dad's attitude. My husband tries to be involved with his 3 kids but only one is still young enough to come to us every other week. The oldest is very close with him and stops by once a week but the other two don't seek his attention or interact with him much when he tries to get theirs. The one that stays with us just stays in his room all the time and only talks if we make him. I read a lot and it all says it takes 7 or more years to pull it together. I wonder if the kids are teenagers then how does it really come together for us before they are gone? Does your husband pay attention to you? What way is he not paying attention to them, and is it something you have talked to him about?