[kiznar]

Well I want to say I'm not the type to be depressed, I've seeked help therapy group. I've tooken there meds for 2 months. I just cold turkey the meds no with draws my feelings about everything are the same day 8.
if I was the.person I used to be id start off by saying here is my story I'm sorry if I offend any one bit the truth is that man is long gone I've buried him because I can't stand him.

1st of all I'm blessed because I work hard no other reason. I've lost my faith and do not believe in God. If life was a test to test my faith I've failed.
I honestly don't know what to expect by writing this out here. I guess I'm hoping to be proved wrong about God and most important the choices I've made in life..

My story thank you if you read.
I'm 27 with a career, my career is strong making 80K a year when I was 22 now I make 60K but work Monday through Friday 14 hour shifts. I have a wife and two wonderful boys with or third child (girl) on the way . I don't know where to start I got married at 19 to some one I wanted to grow old with my wife is my 1st everything my only everything. I loved her at 300lbs and love her at 152lbs. I've stuck by her side supported loved and cherished her.

Fast forward. 27 recently. My wife graduated college with my support, I knew she was working hard to do it. I always tried to make sure the house was clean before she got home so it would be easier to do home work. We have always had money problems. Because.of our poor choices and financial decisions. So she graduated wanted a big party I said no then I caved in. Well that last incident was the last straw the house went into foreclosure. I came up with the moneyto save it but b of a would not take my money I was upset. I wanted beer and smokes I quit to save money it was hard. I told my wife how upset I was I made 4K in a little over a week working my fingers into the dirt and still b of a wanted to add lawyer fees to Getty it out of foreclose which was only 200. We got into a fight because I needed alone time to work this out in my head. It got nasty I won't lie but it was not that bad things escalated. Her birthday was the next morning after the fight I told her how much I loved her I set 200 a side while all this stuff going on for a day trip to the beach. She over spent at Walmart so I had to give her my 200 I had set a side. Even after that I trued to take her to dinner on my small budget. She said she did not want to be around me so I.left for the day I was mad it was not the right thing to do.I know that. I gave her the next day while I watched our kids. I found out much later she slept with a old high school boy friend my wife is also pregnant at this point about 6 months. the guy she hooked up with was a 6 month clean meth addict. . she told me she saw him when she came back I left the house for 3 weeks she slept with 3 other guys. this is unlike my wife I don't understand I am so hurt and so broken. I did everything for my family including giving up my nice truck so we can live better. right now were trying to work things out because I cannot stand the fact I cannot be my kids life every single day watch them grow, I'm the type of guy that works 14 hours come home and do dishes or make dinner. I just don't know what to do anymore I work because I'm told to work but I hate working. I just really want to give up you try so hard to get let down even harder. we're waiting on the baby to arrive any day now and waiting for a eviction notice..... I used to be at 3 days a time trying to support my family, it hurts so bad because no 1 knows what I've been through trying to make things work. I can't accept the fact is not going to work and I will try to make it work I will ride a dead horse. I recently just purchased a brand new car for her. I get her nails done once a month and her hair done every 3 months. I don't know what I'm even trying to do posting this. I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope so I've done everything I could I still love her and I forgive her but I have not forgotten. I feel like my whole will for living is gone everything has been taken from me. I'm very moralistic because it's the way I was raised. I cry when I'm alone. I just want all the pain and suffering stop. I never been with another woman and don't plan on it my wife is the only 1 been intimate with. I know this seems like a horror story but it's really the truth, I feel like I'm a hell of a catch but I also feel like I'm not worth anything. I guess all in my story here just sitting in my truck tears in my eyes time to put a smile back on my face and act like I'm happy and everything is okay. If there were not 3 children involved in this happened I probably would not try to work this out but I love my kids enough to do this, I even loved her still no solid respect..... I wish I was start my life with somebody else I feel like it's already over at 27.

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[Leed]

Hi my friend -- I must say that if you were making $60K, then you both were spending way too much money on frills and things you didn't need. You must have been living above your means. You should have been able to make it on 60K. But that's not ALL your problems.

Your wife certainly did not handle things well by sleeping with all those men. That was NOT the proper way to handle her anger. If she was upset about something, you two should have talked about it. I seems that you two don't know how to communicate.

My advice is to see a marriage counselor. Obviously with a baby due any minute, you won't be able to until the baby is born, but afterwards, I'd recommend you see one as soon as you can. If you don't I'm not sure this marriage is going to survive, the way it's going. YOu both have resentments that you're not handling properly. YOu need to get rid of these, and learn how to communicate. Talking these out between the two of you is important, rather than acting out. So please see a marriage counselor as soon as you can. This marriage needs to be saved for the sake of the children. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[DDPP4]

sorry your going through this, remember her reactions and her anger is hers and is not a reflection on you or the kind of husband or father you are. To often we let the people we love destroy us because of their actions. Seek counseling if you can truly forgive and let go..otherwise you may just be prolonging a sad situation.

[kiznar]

Hi all 1st time posting I'm very depressed. I had help Alot of it. It did not help me one bit to tell the truth I just stopped taking my meds for over month. In a really bad place right now honestly hate life when I have sooooo much to live for. I was on meds for two months hatred.the way it made me could not handle it but I don't think I can handle it off the meds... I want to tell my full story to some one but I don't know where to begin.... Sooooo this ***** will do for now hey it's a start.

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[kiznar]

Wow this posted I thought I lost it

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