[hopingforhappiness7]

I've had a very unhappy marriage since it began years and years ago. I am not happy and haven't been in a very long time. However, with the confusion caused by mental health issues, it is making it impossible to make a decision about if I need to just cut ties and leave or stick it out. I have constant fear of staying in the situation and being completely unhappy. I also fear the unknown of me being out on my own (as I've never been on my own). I don't know how to overcome that fear and take that step toward freedom. So it keeps me captive.

[Leed]

I wish I knew what to tell you. BUT, if you've been unhappy all thru your marriage, what makes you think that if you stay, things will change? If nothing has changed all these years, they're not going to change now.

UNLESS, you two go to marriage counseling. Is there a chance that he would do that -- or that it would help? I don't know what your issues are in the marriage, so I can't say if marriage counseling would help or not. Are you being abused? If you're being abused, GET OUT. Do NOT stay with anyone who is abusing you, whether it's physically or emotionally/mentally!!! Abuse is abuse!

Being on your own IS scary. I did it for the first time when I was in my 50's, and believe me I was scared. I didn't know if I could support myself or not because I had a house and I had property taxes to pay. When you don't make that much, it's darn near impossible!

Are there children involved? If there are, you HAVE to consider them too. Taking them away from their father will hurt them. So think LONG AND HARD before you do this. Make sure whatever you do is in their best interests.

I wish you the very best. Please let us know what happens. We do care about you. God bless and take care.. Hugs, Lee

[Big Mama]

I know how you feel. I'm stuck w/ that question every day. I've been married for 18 yrs and it has been not to great for 10 + .

It is a big step, espicially when you don't know what to do.

[creativelight]

Sounds like you made your decision but fear has you "captive". Fear is the root of all evil. Don't let it rule you. When in doubt ask God and wait, he will guide you. Now, remember you can't expect happiness just like that. No one can make you happy and in order for you to achieve moments of happiness you need to be a positive person. Is a process like all in life... Reach for contentment.. Is more stable than happy..

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by hopingforhappiness7

I've had a very unhappy marriage since it began years and years ago. I am not happy and haven't been in a very long time. However, with the confusion caused by mental health issues, it is making it impossible to make a decision about if I need to just cut ties and leave or stick it out. I have constant fear of staying in the situation and being completely unhappy. I also fear the unknown of me being out on my own (as I've never been on my own). I don't know how to overcome that fear and take that step toward freedom. So it keeps me captive.

You did not live by yourself ever between your family of origin and your husband? Not even with roommates in college?