[Bobbarita]

My divorce will finally be over next month. I have been socializing since I first filed, (in September), and I have dated 2 or 3 men during this time. There was no chemistry, and I did make it clear before accepting any invitation that I was not into a sexual relationship at that time. The relationships fizzled and I can't say I was sorry. I was married for 20 years. I am 59. The man I write about below is 50-55.

I met a man I had met several months ago at a meeting last week and from the time I laid eyes on him I felt a "love at 1st sight" feeling. My heart speeded up, butterflies in stomach, nervousness, etc. We did speak to each other and I sensed he was experiencing the same attraction. I was married when I first met him and really never paid any attention to him. I do know he is divorced, I don't know if he's involved in a relationship presently, but I think not.

He positioned himself directly across from me at the conference table and shared his smiles and some body language which I know indicates "male preening". When exiting the room, on the way out the door he touched my back and upper arm. He is not a "lounge lizard", (believe me, I've met them..!). He seems gentle and humble and I think somewhat puzzled by this as well.

You know how some people say, "I knew I would marry him/her from the moment I saw him"? That's what I feel! I should just "settle down" my emotions right?

I'll see him Monday night at the same meeting. I'm beginning to feel anxious already, but I chat people up pretty easily, and I do have a reason to speak to him. Should I make the next move by initiating a conversation? Any suggestions/advice/observations appreciated.

[NWgirl2013]

This sounds exciting and healthy! How great! Can't you just pull yourself together, be friendly, not too flirty & let him make the next move? If he wants to, he will.

There is no rush to "do" anything, so (if it were me) I would just enjoy this very exhilarating rush of adrenalin you feel. Look Extra beautiful for this meeting (it boosts confidence) and have fun.

I wish you all the best in this new and exciting time.

[allme]

Oh how lovely! When I first meet my hubby, 14 years ago, it was like everything went in slow motion..I can remember exactly what he was wearing and the expression he had on his face. I just 'knew' he would mean something to me, I was instantly smitten with him and yes, it felt like love at first sight. They say we can detect potential mates chemically...so why not love at first sight?

Wishing you all the best.

I dont' believe love at first sight exists, no. I do believe that people have some very intense infatuation sometimes at first sight but just the meaning of the word love itself goes against any way this can be possible. Since I don't think loving anyone is limited to a feeling at all..

I think getting to know this person is a great idea but I wouldn't put too much into the idea that you "know you want to marry " this person. There is no way you can know enough about a person in a single instance like this or even a few dates whether they are a good match for you.

Honestly I hope you take this slower

[Bobbarita]

I am exhilarated and pleased, and like your suggestion(s) I want this to go slow. I have to put MY brakes on because it's my nature to be somewhat impulsive and impatient. As I said, I have a legitimate reason, ( directly involving him and relating to business at hand), to speak to him privately. After the meeting people split up into groups and talk, so this wouldn't be unusual. (Some pair off). I didn't intend to flirt with him, just develop some rapport through conversation. This isn't going to go anywhere if I keep flitting about with a nervous stomach in a daze...