You can't stay friends with your ex.

I am going through some issues with exhusband as he just got married. Before he did, I asked him if he is gets married, to tell me. He told me he would tell me and he had no plans to get married ever even though he has been living with this women for years. Found out the other day that he lied to me. When he said those things he was already in the mist of planning the wedding.

What hurts me the most is that he lied to me! It's been 8 years since separation and divorce but we have stayed in contact. Mostly because I was going through hell living with my siblings and then more down turns in life....he was the one I could talk to the most. It was me calling the most. He didn't have to call me because his life was better and he had a girlfriend who lived with him.

I guess I shouldn't have been in contact with him like the articles I read. I tried not to be in contact with him, but I had to. There was no one who picked up the phone sometimes, but him.

I have tried not to get angry at him and kept going back to loving him as a friend although the women he decided to be with broke my heart as there was some issues with that and him lying to me the first time with her.

He seem to have a different story and not care much about my story.

So I find myself being angry at him again. I am so afraid not to be in contact with him even though that is what I am doing. I know he won't be in contact with me.

This is very hard on me that I don't even know how to really explain it. This was my first love. Like today (again) I felt that I would wake up and we would be in bed with our dog and this was all a nightmare.

During the divorce, I wanted to work on myself so I don't get into bad relationship again, but I messed up somewhere along the lines in bettering myself. I lost my own family I grew up with, I had to give up my dog, my career is gone and I am poor. I really don't understand how bad my life got and his got better. And he was the one with the drug problem and not me.

So that I am finally not in contact with him, will my life get better?

I really need to heal from this relationship. For 6 years I used to wake up crying because I would see them in my dreams. It was a really painful and then I would have to talk to him. Only the last 3 years the dreams stopped with both of them. Now, I just have a feeling that I would wake up with him and my dog and everything would be okay and that he is holding my hands and hugging me. But I know this feeling and vision is a lie. It is just that my life is so bad (though there are little things to be grateful for) that that vision was one of the most happiest.

I just want to heal and move forward like he has.

Sounds like a plan.

When you start to let go you might make room for new love to come into your life. I hope so.

My ex is an utter maniac (says she lol)....no really his stalking and intrusions into my life are extraordinary. Its hard to detach and let go when he's following around amealways there. I blame my diagnosed ptsd on our relationship.