Wrote a letter to ex

After about a year and a half of being divorced, the denial lifted about 6 months ago and had to face we were over. I wrote my ex husband a letter about how cruelly he ended the marriage and the mistreatment I had to live with. I held on to that letter for months. Last Saturday I got a letter from him telling me he thinks of me daily and all the things he wanted to do for me. It infuriated me. After not hearing from him in such a long time, how dare he be kind now. It unhinged me and I cried and cried. It ripped off the healing scab right off and I was back to square one.

I knew contact had to end so I sent him the letter with a note saying I had loved him with all my heart and a part of me always would but he needed to hear the truth. The day he got the letter, which wasn't kind, his mother died.
I don't feel better having sent that letter. But I knew for contact to end I had to. I don't know why I feel so sad. But I really do.

It's common for an abusive spouse to become kind and gentle as a way to suck you back into their life/power.

With time we often forget the bad things and remember the good things, I hope you can move on and build a better live without him in it.

And as far as the timing of things, I would call that karma.

And if you really want contact to end, don't call write, text, email him. And if he tries to contact you don't pick up the phone, don't read the text, tear up the letter without reading it, don't even contact him to say you don't want anymore contact.

The tearing up, of the letter was symbolic, spoke to me. What other steps have you taken, to undo the strings that have connected your heart to his?

I have never told or wrote to my ex about how he hurt me. I forgave him and so far that has seemed enough. I have not felt the need to open up my old wounds. Nothing is to be gained by it. Thought we are all different. I would do the same thing, Frasier, if I thought it would help me. Thanks.

that took a lot of strength to write that letter, i have to commend you for that. i think it was the right thing to do. closure is the hardest part to me when a relationship ends ( i have a hell of a time letting go). i think you may be feeling sad because you're realizing this is it & that is very difficult in any relationship, regardless of the circumstances. i wish you well and hope you feel better, but at least now the healing can truly begin