[tjsailgal]

I am teacher of over 25 years, and have a 19 year old and a 24 year old. My boyfriend has two children, ages 11 and 13. He has them every other weekend, and every Wednesday. We started going out in Dec. of 2010. We moved in together in November of 2012. To date, I have not yet met their mom. The kids say they would be uncomfortable having me and their mom in the same room, so I have not been to any of their school performances, etc. My boyfriend and I have both suggested that I meet their mom in a very non threatening manner, such as when he picks them up, or drops them off, in order to lessen their apprehension, and lower their level of being comfortable. I would not even need to talk to her. However, their mother has repeatedly said that she does not ever plan on meeting me. She said that there is no reason for the 'two worlds' to ever meet. She has told the kids this as well, which has made the kids feel that their father is 'a bad parent' for wanting to have me be with him at such functions. Except for these instances, the kids and I get along well. My question is: Do you agree that meeting their mom in such a way would be a good start to lowering their anxiety?

[marmaduke]

Well it depends, were you the cause of the breakup? If you were it could be the ex wife still feels resentful and the children don't want to seem disloyal to their mum.
Might be wise just to give the school performances a miss, and keep the peace.

[healingme4me]

Logistically speaking, say your bf and yourself, plan to go right out somewhere, after dropping them off, what makes that, forbidden territory? Why does everyone have to go out of their way, to accommodate this woman's emotions?