Seperated hope not the end!

Today I move into an apartment. its been a long 3 weeks. I cheated on my wife a 2nd time. the first time was forgiven because she had an affair years ago. 3 weeks ago my darkest fears came true I always wanted to keep my family intact. I was suicidal. Now I am on meds and seeing a therapist. I have ptsd from child abuse and molestation. I have dealt with depression before but because of the ptsd I couldn't tell when I was sliding down.
I chose to try and fill the hole in my head and heart like by turning to someone else to get what I couldn't see or feel at home. My wife isn't the cuddly lovey type and intimacy seemed like a chore to her. Yet I felt that I needed it. In my messed up way of thinking thought if I could fill that hole my family would be ok.
Now I see with clearer eyes and a clearer head. We are all in therapy. I guess I just need to trust the process. I hope she can start to forgive me because I truly do love her wit all my heart. We have other family issues one is my autistic son was accused of something horrible and I don't believe it to be true. my daughter is stuggling with me but we are talking. so I move into this apartment that I will not call home but a place to continue growing.

Hi jimdd810

I am sorry to hear that you are in this difficult position right now.

I think that you still have work to do, therapy wise, both yourself, and your family, in order to move forward, in which ever direction, from this point forward.

We can not undo past behaviour, but we can learn strategies for acceptance and harmony.

Here's wishing you peace as you transition through this.

Thank you. Yes it's a long road. I think once I get out of my dads house today and in my apartment I'll be able to relax a little and really concertante on fixing me.