How Do I Begin?

I'll try to keep this short for your sake, but I'm having a bit of a conundrum and could use some advice.

I've been married seven years and have two small children. I was obsessed with my husband before we married, but I've come to realize just who he really is within the last few years. He's very controlling, demeaning, insincere, inconsiderate, and downright toxic for me and my kids. He emotionally and verbally abuses us and I don't think I can take it anymore.

We've talked about marriage counseling a few times, but never pulled the trigger. His main issue is money, of course (everything is about money). He thinks we can work it out on our own, but that's obviously not working.

The main thing is that... it's hard... really hard... but I think I need to move myself and my kids away from him in order to live a happy and healthy lifestyle. Right now, he and I don't have any respect for one another, and I honestly couldn't care less about being with him anymore because of how he treats me. My family all hate him, and our friends no longer hang out with us. I already have depression and anxiety, so it's all really difficult (especially being a Christian and thinking about divorce) to figure out what to do.

Should I stay, should I go?
If I stay, what is the next step?
If I go, what is the first step? I have no money or place to go. I feel trapped and completely helpless.

If you decide to stay I would suggest reading the 5 languages of love, it is a great book and seems to be a successful formula for many. The kicker is that both parties need to buy into it.

If your relationship is truly at a place where you have no respect for each other it might be time to seek the advise of a divorce attorney.

My wife and I are going through roughly the same issues, we are in marriage counseling. Some days it seems to be working, most it just seems like a place to go have refereed arguments.

One thing that our counselor suggested was a trial separation, with rules. No dating etc... really work on yourself. That is if you both want to make it work. It is abnormally tough dealing with these issues with a mental illness, as I am sure it is tough being partnered to somebody with a mental illness.

Best of luck to you, feel free to reach out and vent. that is what is so great about this forum. There is lots of great wisdom among the members here.