[lunafay]

So it's day 6 since I have talked to my ex husband. This is the longest in 15 years that I have gone without talking to him and I'm having a little bit of trouble emotionally. I'm so used to telling him everything and now that's gone. I hope with time this gets easier.

Wow! And today makes day 7 and tomorrow makes 8 and next week makes 2 weeks. Perserveer.

[fairydustgirl]

you will get through this, stay strong and try to hold on to the reality of the reason he is an X. I know for me I had to try to re access the anger and hurt mine had caused. its easy to start remembering good moments and downplay the bad...be aware and try to stay in the here and now. do you have family and friends to connect with when you want to talk about something? We are here for you too, feel free to PM me if you'd like.

[lunafay]

Originally Posted by fairydustgirl

you will get through this, stay strong and try to hold on to the reality of the reason he is an X. I know for me I had to try to re access the anger and hurt mine had caused. its easy to start remembering good moments and downplay the bad...be aware and try to stay in the here and now. do you have family and friends to connect with when you want to talk about something? We are here for you too, feel free to PM me if you'd like.

Thank you that means a lot and makes a lot of sense. He is definitly an X for a reason but I keep holding out hope that we will be friends some day.

[fairydustgirl]

The friends part...that potentially can happen but for me and my X it took a long time. we separated in Jan 15 with the agreement that if either of us needed someone for an emergency we would be there for each other. He had surgery in March and during that day we agreed to try to date, that lasted about 3 months and was always very awkward and finally we realized we just weren't going to be able to get back together. we didn't talk a lot personally but our son had a crisis during the summer so we did have to band together for him. we mostly texted. I had him over for Christmas so he could see the kids together. After that we have not had much contact at all. We had a grandson born in April, and at the hospital we were very cordial and sat together (as there was a WHOLE lot of the mother's family there) so...since the baby was born, we are much friendlier, he even came to look at a house I want to buy to help me decide on it. So. We knew we would always still be in each other's lives in some way because of the kids. And we wanted the best for each other. The best just wasn't each other. Oh. funny thing. He made me in charge of his medical power of attorney! but that's just so the kids don't have to make the decision to pull the plug if that were ever to happen, God forbid!

It is always dependent on the reasons for the divorce, and how you handle yourselves...him too, it's not all on you. Even though my kids are grown, they were still my priority and I would do anything for them. So that is why I have done my very best to keep things as civil as possible. Not always easy! I think he felt the same way about the kids though.

all my best!