[pinkvilla]

I am thinking of separation in my mind ,due to marital issues. My husband has invested a lot of money in real estate in another country, with his dad. Now all the property is under his dad's name since his dad lives there.

I have asked my husband to sell off the property atleast some and he is refusing to budge. I did not like the idea right from the start but he did it anyways. I don't even know from which accounts,how much money was drawn for these investments through our 15 yr marriage.

If I apply for divorce,will I ever be able to get any of my share back?? I'm beyond frustrated since most of our savings are emptied out.

Any suggestions to handle this situation will be helpful.

[healingme4me]

I think my father's recently finalized divorce that took 2.5 years showed me not to count on getting money from a spouse. He filed within a month of his mother in law passing away and found himself not entitled to the inheritance.

I guess what I am trying to say is divorce because it's over. Sounds like even in marriage there's a sense of fiscal irresponsibility? You can consult with an attorney, which is certainly something I'd recommend. At the same time, prepare to live on whatever income you bring in.

[LucyG]

If the property is in your father-in-law's name only, I don't know how you're going to get your share of the money without a long protracted legal battle that will cost you everything you have. You need to hire a good attorney to help you with this.

[TishaBuv]

A lot depends on your state's laws. You can ask a lawyer in a phone call or consultation that they shouldn't charge you for.

15 years may not be considered a long enough marriage to be viewed as 50/50. If he used money made during the marriage, you should be entitled to some, but who knows if you will ever see any.

[LucyG]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

A lot depends on your state's laws. You can ask a lawyer in a phone call or consultation that they shouldn't charge you for.

15 years may not be considered a long enough marriage to be viewed as 50/50. If he used money made during the marriage, you should be entitled to some, but who knows if you will ever see any.

If it's a common law state, I think any money earned or that you come into is half yours regardless of how long you're married. Do you live in a common law state?

[eyesclosed]

Hey so sorry do u have any joint accounts close them and put them in your name it's legal protect yourself.

[Rose76]

Regardless of whether you decide to separate/divorce, go to a lawyer now. Do not announce that to your husband. Set aside what you can to pay for legal advice. You badly need legal advice.

If you have any income of your own, establish a bank account in your own name that he cannot access, and put your future income into it. Do not say anything to your husband about anything, until you consult with an attorney first. Don't use an attorney that your husband has any relationship with.

Go to Barnes and Nobel, and pick up some books with advice for women contemplating divorce. Google relevant topics.

Does your husband have any siblings? They might have a claim on prooerty owned by your father-in-law, if he suddenly passed away.

Sign nothing without having a lawyer of your own look at it.

I'm sorry you are living in such severe financial insecurity. There should be no financial secrets between a two married persons. My guess is that there have been other problems in this marriage. Get all the professional advice you can.

[eyesclosed]

I sill say go close anything you have as a joint account. He has cut of access to money by putting it in his dads there might even be a trustee or what ever u call it on the account.

[Rose76]

I was wondering if you could actually do what eyesclosed suggested, so I googled it. It's sound advice. Here's a link: How to Close a Joint Bank Account - Financial Web

Excerpt:

"A joint bank account is any account, either checking or savings, that is owned jointly by two or more people. With joint accounts, all parties have equal ownership and thus any individual may close the account without the consent of other joint account holders."

Interesting. I didn't know it worked that way. So you have options. At least, check every account, and find out what each one holds. If you don't want to close them out, consider withdrawing at least some of the money and put it where only you can get it.

[eskielover]

I found out about the joint account a few years ago though I'm glad I had it open because checks from the IRS have to be cashed with both people on the check present even if the other person has signed it....OR it can be cashed through a joint account. Being that I lived 2100 miles away, no way were we going to both be there to cash it. I found a sister CU with the one we had our joint account in that I had been paying the IRS out of.

The glitch with the account was that he was using it to pay bills with & it would go negative the day after his disability check was auto deposited. I had called the CU where we had the joint account & they were the ones that told me that unless I cashed it when the balance was positive they would keep the check to cover the overdraft. Joint accounts won't send out statements to two different locations & obviously my almost ex never communicated things when we were married it was a sure thing he wasn't going to communicate this. By June that year he had already accumulated $1100.00 in overdraft fees & that after several years of not paying property taxes or house payments. The guy I talked to at the CU suggested that I needed to know when the auto deposit happened, cash the check immediately, then I should close the account or I could become responsible for any overdraft charges. I nicely asked almost ex to let me know when the check was deposited. He didn't let me know & when I checked he had withdrawn all but $14 to cover his bills for the month. I was pissed because he didn't honor my request so I flew up to the sister CU in the city, 45 minutes from my farm, praying that nothing would come through during my drive there. It was still positive at $14, I was able to cash the check & immediately flew home again hoping it would still be positive, & CLOSED THE ACCOUNT.....it didn't pay to not work with me because when he gets me angry I will do what ever within my rights to get even.....but that was how I found out that any person on a joint account can close it without the ok of the other person. If I had been really mean I would have had the balance sent to me so he wouldn't have known until the first bill bounced....but he got the balance as notice the account was closed. Lol..not one word out of him about the account.....though I let our daughter know what was going on & why.

Sometimes the only thing we get out of ending a marriage with a financially irresponsible person or one that lies & covers up like yours, is the freedom to get away from them & walk away to start life over. Not easy at my age or the fact I'm on disability too but I feel so wonderful being free from him, sometimes not coming out of a bad marriage is a small price to pay for the freedom.