[soyakate]

I’m 42 this year and I have been suffering viginumus for all my life and I never manage to have an intercourse due to pain. My husband has not abandon me but at the same time he is not supportive. He always said that this my problem and I need to sort it out myself. I have tried very hard to overcome this but it was not easy. Every few months he will had a go at me and I will push myself to try harder but I was not getting the right result. Until in the last year, I have managed to see a therapist plus using the recommended kit and I managed to insert all the dilators including the largest size. However, until now I have not try to have an intercourse with my husband because he told me that he is not interested in me anymore.

He said over the years he had try to use other ways to satisfy his sex desire. He has been watching porn, flirting with other woman etc. My heart was so hurt when I found out these. He has become completely disconnect and we have no intimacy. Sometimes his temple is bad and will be angry at me even I said nothing wrong. He kept saying it was my fault that our happy marriage was going this way. He said that I should have tried harder many years ago and he is now completely disappointed with me. I felt bad because he has been waited for me for so many years and I really hope that one day he will change his mind.

We have moved to a new country about 16 months ago and he has changed completely. He doesn’t care about me anymore and have been staying late and not come home. Sometimes he will leave home for few days and ignore my call or text. He said he needs space and just want me to leave him alone. He also openly told me that he wants a new life and want to have normal sex life. I told him that we should try getting some professional help but he refused.

I don’t know what I can do to resolve my current situation., I felt like he is not interested in continuing our marriage, he is staying because of responsibility. I still love him and will wait for him accept me again. It is getting worse everyday and I don’t know if I can handle the rejection and emotional torture any longer.

Can anyone please give me some advice? I don’t have anyone who is suffering this condition to share my feelings with. One of my close friend advised me to just leave my husband and start a new life again.

[FiestaBay1]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I wish I had words of wisdom, but I'm searching for them myself. Just know that there are a lot of us that understand the devastation you're feeling. Sending you hugs and warm thoughts.

[healingme4me]

Do you have capabilities to leave? I personally wouldn't want to be subjegated to the demeaning backlash due to a medical condition.

Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk

[eskielover]

I understand that social mores are different in different countries & not sure what it would do to you to leave. Actually his responsibility goes beyond just "KEEPING" you as his wife, but if love now is only one sided (your side) then I would look into what you really want your future to be. Going on for the rest of your life in a loveless marriage being KEPT by your husband.....or what it would be for you given the society & culture you live in to get out of it. Sometimes neither choice provides good end results.

I am so sorry you are going through this because of something that isn't even your fault but a medical one

Praying that the right solution will make itself known to you in the near future

[Grandessa]

Originally Posted by soyakate

I’m 42 this year and I have been suffering viginumus for all my life and I never manage to have an intercourse due to pain. My husband has not abandon me but at the same time he is not supportive. He always said that this my problem and I need to sort it out myself. I have tried very hard to overcome this but it was not easy. Every few months he will had a go at me and I will push myself to try harder but I was not getting the right result. Until in the last year, I have managed to see a therapist plus using the recommended kit and I managed to insert all the dilators including the largest size. However, until now I have not try to have an intercourse with my husband because he told me that he is not interested in me anymore.

He said over the years he had try to use other ways to satisfy his sex desire. He has been watching porn, flirting with other woman etc. My heart was so hurt when I found out these. He has become completely disconnect and we have no intimacy. Sometimes his temple is bad and will be angry at me even I said nothing wrong. He kept saying it was my fault that our happy marriage was going this way. He said that I should have tried harder many years ago and he is now completely disappointed with me. I felt bad because he has been waited for me for so many years and I really hope that one day he will change his mind.

We have moved to a new country about 16 months ago and he has changed completely. He doesn’t care about me anymore and have been staying late and not come home. Sometimes he will leave home for few days and ignore my call or text. He said he needs space and just want me to leave him alone. He also openly told me that he wants a new life and want to have normal sex life. I told him that we should try getting some professional help but he refused.

I don’t know what I can do to resolve my current situation., I felt like he is not interested in continuing our marriage, he is staying because of responsibility. I still love him and will wait for him accept me again. It is getting worse everyday and I don’t know if I can handle the rejection and emotional torture any longer.

Can anyone please give me some advice? I don’t have anyone who is suffering this condition to share my feelings with. One of my close friend advised me to just leave my husband and start a new life again.

My husband and I had been married for 41 years. We did not have sex for the last 12 years. I thought it was because he was older. But 4 months ago he said he wanted a divorce. He said he did not " think of me in that way" (meaning sexually) anymore. I think it is because I am older, and he has an issue about that. This is emotional torture because I was very close to him on many other levels; like a best friend. Now it is over. I have to let him go, and I will, but this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.

[eyesclosed]

Being a man I don't feel very good about your husbands attitude of his sexual need. He only thought of himself if he would have thought more about u he could have worked this out by well personaly I would have thought of it as a challange almost a game I mean there is alot more that can be done during making love with your wife than making u hurt. He has a bad attitude making himself look like a victim not making your wife feel sexy is cruel I bet u are his loss