Any help or ideas would be great full

Trying to work it out with husband. I only see him once a week. We talk and text through the week. He says he still loves me but not in love with me. When he told me he wanted a divorce I was crushed I asked why there was no sex he said do to both of us having medical issues there has not been no sex for a few years now. But now that we are trying to work it out all I get is a hug good night. How do we bring back thoughs feelings if he won't do anything. I'm lost when we are together we have a great time talk laugh and smile. I know all this didn't happen overnight and won't be fixed overnight but what kinda time frame did you have if you an the hubby worked it out. I want to go back home.

Hello Wantmyhusbandback: Well... I don't know if there is really much I can offer here. But I saw no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. Perhaps there are other members, here on PC, who know you better than I do. But, for me, there are a few details you didn't mention in this post that I presume could possibly be of significance. You didn't mention how old the two of you are, how long you've been married, or what the medical issues are the two of you are dealing with.

I'm an older man myself. So if there is any way in which I can be of help with regard to this situation, it would probably be in possibly having some insight into what might be going on with your husband. I don't know. What occurs to me here is that your hubby could be struggling with some depression. I don't know if your hubby has received any mental health treatment. I'm guessing not. I think men who struggle with depression tend to turn inward, perhaps become angry, & restless... both in terms of their employment situations & their personal lives. So it's possible your husband is struggling silently with depression. And his depression is causing him to want to distance himself from everything & everyone... including you. Depression also tends to have a significant impact on a person's romantic inclinations. In men this can often lead to erectile dysfunction either actual or feared. It is also possible your husband is harboring some secret that is either causing or contributing to his loss of interest. This could consist of any number of things though. So I won't suggest what such a secret might consist of.

From my perspective, you're correct when you wrote: "How do we bring back those feelings if he won't do anything." The fact is, I'm afraid, you can't. Something is going on with your hubby. Maybe it can be fixed. Maybe it can't. But unless he is willing to work on it, whatever it is, there's probably little or nothing you can do to save your marriage, in my opinion. You asked about time frames other women had if they were able to work it out with their husbands. Obviously I can't answer that. But what I will suggest is that time frames really are not particularly relevant here. I'm pretty certain experiences vary. What is relevant is whether or not your husband wants to try to put your marriage back together or whether he's just going through the motions... sort-of "for old-times sake", so to speak. Unless he genuinely want to save your marriage, & is willing to do the hard work of figuring out what's going on with him, no amount of time is going to be sufficient. All that will be accomplished will be to drag the whole situation out further. At some point, you may simply have to draw the proverbial line in the sand, as they say. I wish you both well...