[Wantmyhusbandback]

Ok thanks for the advice on the other posts. Someone asked for a little info. So my husband and I are both 40. We have been married for 21 yrs dec.28. We were 18 when we got married. I have been a housewife the whole time. So we went to therapy yesterday. I thought our dates that we have been going on were going good we both said so. Well I found out. That some time he likes it some times he didn't want to be there and when we went out he said it feels like friends not a couple. He said he was still confused about me said he loved me didn't want to hurt me. He also said there were times he wanted me to spend the night but didn't tell me. He likes being single and his independents but then misses me. At the end he said he has been trying I believe that to a degree. And he is on the fence one side divorce other side me. So our therapist said take a couple of weeks off no contact at all with each other unless he reaches out. This is going to be a hard two weeks we have Christmas he has no family around then your anniversary is the 28th, new years then his birthday. Wow I'm a hot mess right now.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Wantmyhusbandback: Thanks for the additional background information. (I vaguely recall what it was like to be 40.) This is such a difficult time of year for you to be going through all of this... with the holidays coming up plus several additional important dates as well. I do think that 40 is the age we typically think of as being the start of what we generally call the "mid-life crisis" period... mostly for men I suspect. I think that's probably around the time things began to unravel for me, although I didn't come off of the rails completely until around 50ish.

I wish I could tell you everything will be okay... or at least what to expect. Unfortunately I can't do either. I think you're probably going to simply end up waiting to see what your husband decides, unless you decide to draw that line in the sand I think I referenced in a previous reply to one of your posts. I don't know if either you, or your husband are seeing counselors or therapists for individual counseling / therapy. It might be advisable... your husband to try to come to some conclusion with regard to what he wants to do... & you to decide how you want to handle all of this. Personally I think your husband will be sorry in the end if he breaks your marriage now after 21 years. But I know it happens. My best wishes to you...

[Lost_in_the_woods]

No one should ever have to have their heart broken. ((((HUGS&TEARS))))

[gayleggg]

The two weeks will seem like forever, but if that is what is needed then do it. Give him some time alone to think about what it would be without you there. Maybe it's what he needs. I'm just sorry it came a Christmas time. Stay strong.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry.. you dont deserve to be treated this way

[Wantmyhusbandback]

Thank everyone we be separated sense September. For the fist two months he wouldn't talk or see me. Blocked me from social media. We just started the last month and half seeing each other once a weekend and text or talking in the week. Now we are on this break it is going to be hard I wish he would just snap out of this is killing me and our marriage

[healingme4me]

When's the next therapy session? During the two weeks were there instructions from the counselor for some type of homework assignment? I understand that he needs a sense of independence and space to sort through what brings him to such crossroads, at the same time feeling like friends seems a bit simplistic to me.

Here's my hard truth question(as opposed to pretty lies), is there someone else?

[Wantmyhusbandback]

Healingme. As far as I know there is no one he said he's not talking to anyone. No the next therapy is next Saturday. We will see what happens