[sally_d]

I still cant decide whether I want to be with my ex ( husband) or not. The thing is if i tell him I dont want to be with him I've asked him nicely not to do anything with me or my family and move on as if nothing happened, but he's reluctant to do that either. If I tell him I want to move on with him not being around would be much easier for me to move on. He see's us being friends and I dont want that.

If I say or he say's we would to go back defentily things wont be the same between us and 2nd now that we've been seperated for 3 months i would have to wait another 2-3 year's just for him too get back on his feet and have a decent job. Meaning, I waisted time for nothing and putting my time and effort on somthing that's not there anymore. I'm stuck. I cant decide and seriously I dont know how i'm going to decide over this. And what makes it harder is that I have my friend telling me not to go through my divorce and try to make it work. Same thing goes with my family. Is there any easier way to decide on this?

[MysticalMoon]

Originally Posted by sally_d

He see's us being friends and I dont want that.
If I say or he say's we would to go back defentily things wont be the same between us and 2nd now that we've been seperated for 3 months i would have to wait another 2-3 year's just for him too get back on his feet and have a decent job. Meaning, I waisted time for nothing and putting my time and effort on somthing that's not there anymore. Is there any easier way to decide on this?

Hello Sally-d,
I have requoted some of your original post to see if I can make sence out of this all.
You don't want to be friends with him? Is that because it will bring up to many memories? Or because their is other issues going on?
To me it sounds like you have already made your mind up. Your mind and body just need time to pounder upon all the information you just mentioned.
But again I'm in a some what same position too. Just getting the guts to go through with it is an matter.

Sorry I'm not much help,
Mystical Moon

[Capp]

sally_d,
Hello...

I agree with MysticalMoon about you already knowing what you want to do...
It's very hard for many us to take care of ourselves...we put the needs/demands of others before our own.

It's all right to set boundaries on him and anyone else. It's all right to say No, and stick to it.
You are the making the decision based on your needs and your wants--not anyone else's stuff.

If you need to give yourself more time to make a decision, it's ok. Try not to let others pressure you into doing what they want; make your decision based on what is best for you.

My best wishes,
Cap