[Suli]

My wife has been diagnosised with schizoaffected and is bi polar, some of her delusions are about me having affairs with different women and me being part of the people out to get her. She has attacked me in the past and tells me how much she hates me and most recently tried to stab me with a butcher knife. She is currently in the county jail waiting to be placed in a state hospital. I still care for her and wish that she would take her meds and get better and stop having these delusions about me. Last time she was one of the mental hospitals the Dr. told me that her delusions are fixed and may take some time to go away or may not ever go away. I am looking for advice to see when is it time to say its time to leave and start living my own life and stop waiting for her to take her meds and get herself better. Based on what the Dr. told me I don't know if she will always feel the way she feels about me. I really just want her to get better. I don't know how long she will be in the state hospital, since she refuses medication, so should I wait or is it time to move on.

[sunrise]

At the very least, I don't think you should live with her anymore because she is violent and dangerous. You could get injured or killed. Make sure you are safe first, then think on what to do. I would suggest the support of a professional at this time to help you find your way through this decision and your feelings.

[sally_d]

Originally Posted by Suli

My wife has been diagnosised with schizoaffected and is bi polar, some of her delusions are about me having affairs with different women and me being part of the people out to get her. She has attacked me in the past and tells me how much she hates me and most recently tried to stab me with a butcher knife. She is currently in the county jail waiting to be placed in a state hospital. I still care for her and wish that she would take her meds and get better and stop having these delusions about me. Last time she was one of the mental hospitals the Dr. told me that her delusions are fixed and may take some time to go away or may not ever go away. I am looking for advice to see when is it time to say its time to leave and start living my own life and stop waiting for her to take her meds and get herself better. Based on what the Dr. told me I don't know if she will always feel the way she feels about me. I really just want her to get better. I don't know how long she will be in the state hospital, since she refuses medication, so should I wait or is it time to move on.

I know you love and care about your wife but you need to see what's best for you at this time being. Ask yourself this is this something you can put up with for the rest of your life? Do you want to be happy? i'm going through a divorce myself. I'm not that violant myself and am not in the same situation as you. I'm the one with the problems. I get angry alot and flip out for no reason. I was the one that iniated the divorce. he went and filed it. I did that as well accusing my husband of going behind my back and sleeping with other women when I knew he wasn't. i'd have nightmares about these too him sleeping around with other women and accusing him the next day about it and not talk to him.

What my point is this. I started sending links to my ex husband about my depression as to get him to study about it and the problems i've been going through. He stepped back and made him think about how it will effect me if he divorces me and our divorce will be finialized in january. It made him think that if he leaves now he knows as to how hard i'm going to handel this. he gave me a last chance trying to put our mariage back together again.

so think of it this way go study about the conditon your wife is going through and think of it how it will effect her once she hear's your divorcing her how do you think she will handel it? once she's in a good and calmer condition talk to her and tell her your there for her when ever she needs your support. tell her that you want her to get better. tell her to take her medications and to get better. because i'm sure you do and care for your wife very much. dont tell her about the divorcing her tell her one step at a time, with a help of a good pscycholgoist which they both can help you. dont just drop it on her like that.

in the mean time try to concentrate on getting your own stuff done. if your wife still refuese to get better and dont want to listen to you or anyone for the matter that's the time when you both sit down and talk this through with a professional at least your safe. Once she's in the state hospital and a bit calmed then you know when to make your move. I know your tierd from this and you just want to get on with your life but with the right direction. best thing is that try to have a strong support system family, friends to be able to get you through this rough time.

really i'm sorry your going through this. if you feel like talking anytime feel free to pm me.