[metalchick]

So yesterday, another failed attempt to talk to him about his plan...He basically said that he is moving out and when he does will be when I find out...This coming after the fact that he is deciding to not send our daughter to the school she was assigned to next year. I found this out by a pile of papers he left laying around. That was his form of communication with me. He said no way that she is going to school there. I said you cannot make these decisions without me. She is still my daughter too. I was looking for a new job, because neither one of us will be able to take her to school. Anyway the whole thing was just ugly, he insulted me on the way I pronounced a word, repeatedly...and is just completely impossible to talk to. He replies we will take it up in court and says crap about who will win in court because he has all these people that is on his side. And that the only problem is the dog...he wants to keep her during the day and with me and the kids at night...and it is a tough sell because of her breed.

This sent me into a state of panic...how is this going to work? He is going to come and go as pleases in my house, so he doesn't have any financial responsibility for anyone other than himself...and really what I care about is our kids...my oldest is going off to jr. High and all of this is happening...and my little one is so sweet...this is going to screw them up for sure. I also do not trust him and his motives...is he trying to get child support from me?? So he doesn't have to work anymore. I cannot make it on my own financially with the few bills that he pays. I want to at least keep the house for a couple of reasons, for the stability for the kids and the sitter lives right next door, who comes over extremely early in the morning so we both can work. I have spoken to two different lawyers and a couple of people who have been through a divorce (we are not married though) and all the legal forms everyone has suggested is for married people.

I just don't know what to do at this point.
I just want what is best for the kids.

[Erebos]

Sounds like he is bluffing. You need to find a support group of others in your circumstances.
They will have access to any legal advice you need, and what his ACTUAL rights are.
Court costs aren't cheap so unless he has unlimited funds he can't be up too much.
The thing with the dog is just a NO. He doesn't have the right to enforce that on you either.
I don't know enough about the laws where you are.
And it doesn't sound like you are sure either.
You must find out. Don't listen to him or try and guess based on others. All situations are different.

He will try and frighten and manipulate you by claiming to know the law, and that you don't have a chance.

Please please, go and look into it. There are a lot of single mothers support groups. And I am sure if you ask around people can point you in the right direction of finding out your rights.

Don't just wait and see, keeping your fingers crossed, because it's much harder to reverse a court order than prevent one in the first place.

Good luck.

[Mike_J]

Start eviction proceedings to get him out of your house. It isn't a fast process, but the sooner you start the sooner he will be gone. Also doing something to take at least some control of the situation will be empowering, and could make him start acting a bit more reasonable (don't count on that though).

[metalchick]

I have been trying to find a support group, but I have had no luck except for some that want 30-50 dollars a session...that I cannot afford at the moment. And the lawyers say that I can't do anything until he is gone. And that since he is not a tenant, I cannot evict him. The stress of being in the house with him is too much. Really I can't find anyone in this situation, unmarried, with kids, letting him live with me all these years. Many people say that we are common law married. In the state I live in, he can come after me. And he probably will. If he supposedly has no money now...how is he going to pay for rent?

[eskielover]

If he supposedly has no money now...how is he going to pay for rent?

Hmmmm, that is his problem. If his choices have put him in this situstion then he just needs to deal wuth it even if it put him into a homeless situation...also caused by the poor choices he makes.

He replies we will take it up in court and says crap about who will win in court because he has all these people that is on his side.

. If he has money to take you to court, he has money for rent. Dont feel sorry for him. We all live with the consequences of our choices & entitlement crap just doesn't work like he seems to be expecting.

[Ohxpoorxme]

Sounds exactly like what in going through except we didn't have kids. We did fight over the dog. I let him take all they furniture and I got the dog. She's a pitbull