[Whisper888]

My husband and I are in limbo land right now. We have agreed that a divorce is best. We have came to an agreement on splitting our assets. He will be moving out and the kids and I are keeping the home.
But....he has asked to stay at the house for a few weeks to get his affairs in order. (Yes, this is as stressful as it sounds....)
So here we are pretending that everything is normal for the kids. I think we should wait until he finds a place to live so we can show them that we have everthing worked out and they have nothing to worry about. He says we should tell them now so they have time to process before he moves out. I'm concerned it will confuse them that we are still living together. Or running out for bank appointments. My kids are 9 and 11 and tend to be high anxiety to start with. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this?

[Rose76]

That's kind of a tough one. I would be inclined to go with your idea of waiting. But I can see his point also. Have you actually filed papers?

If the kids were littler, I would definitely wait. If they were over 13, I would tell them sooner. Where they are in age, it's less clear. If you tell them now, they might feel they have to try and talk you out of going ahead with this. They might feel very sorry for their father and dread his leaving. You and he might be provoked into arguing by the kids' reactions. The kids don't need to be placed in a position of feeling they have to choose sides. I think a lot depends on how well he and you can keep your cool over the next few weeks.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'd agree on waiting, since they have hig anxiety and are still little kids.. I hope everything will go well. Good luck

[Shazerac]

My vote is waiting until he is actually out of the home.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I think your idea of waiting until he has a place to live is wise. That way there will be a concrete plan and a specific new home for their dad that they can see, so they're not left with a bunch of unknowns. Depending on the situation, if you are both able to co-parent peacefully saying something right before he packs and moves might work, so that they have time/access to ask you both questions, and also so that the actual move isn't a surprise or happening without explanation.