Tough time dealing with separation

Hi,

To give some background, my 4th year wedding anniversary with my wife is actually tomorrow (together for 9.5 years). We've been separated now for 1.5 months and this is the toughest thing that I have dealt with in my life. We recently just closed on our newly constructed marital home and within 1 month she initiated our separation. We share 2 children, one 2 year old daughter and a son whom I've treated as my own blood for 9 of his 10 years but is my stepson.

My wife's reason for wanting the separation is that she simply has not been happy in our marriage for some time now. There has been no infidelity or anything like that but she has expressed that she is not happy because I'm boring. She wants to live a life with more thrills and felt like she is older than she is in the marriage.


I am honestly completely crushed. I can't sleep, barely eat, cant stay focused at work. All the advice that I've gotten is to not let her see how broken I am and focus on myself but that is really really difficult because I still don't really know why this has happened. I don't understand how the marriage can be taken so lightly on her end. The most hurtful part is that she is legitimately happier since I've left our home...

I continue to make gestures to show her that I still love her (flowers, words of affirmation, etc.) she is sincerely appreciative of them but at the same time does not reciprocate because she does not want to work on the marriage. Her focus is to "work on herself" which right now just seems like doing any and everything to give her temporary happiness in my opinion.

Anyway, I'm just really looking for ways to get out of this phase. One side of me is saying don't ever give up on your wife and the other is saying she has already moved on and you should never fight to keep someone that doesn't want to be with you.