How can you forget a loved one is DEAD by Divorce?

How does one feel or cope with first learning of your Divorce through a sheriff's deputy (after filing a "Missing Persons" report 15 days prior), knocks on your door to serve you divorce paperwork and then lets you know your loved one is safe and the missing persons report is closed?

In my mind looking back at what I could have done different in my case is I wish I understood the current HIPPA (Privacy) laws earlier. In my case I have had to deal with my wife's diagnoses of Bipolar, Depression, PSTD Anxiety Panic Attacks and Abuse she suffered in her childhood. I have been first a husband, than a caregiver. This came as a total surprise from the deputy that said: She is DEAD to you now, you cannot talk to her and she cannot talk to you. There isn't anything I can say or do, but ask you for your support in changing the laws. So no one else suffers in the manner my family & I are going through. Thank you.

Sorry in advance if this is something that cannot be posted here.
If you want to understand and help more, please click on my link to Change.org to explain a petition I have started.

This is my link: Petition * Please Support Revision of Existing Law regarding HIPPA in Missing Persons Cases * Change.org

I am so very, very sorry this happened to you! Wish I knew what to say.

Thank you Yaowem. Means a lot to me.