[sunflowersky]

Hi Everyone,

I have been separated from my husband for 2 years, he actually walked out. We were married 7 years when he said he did not want to be with me anymore. However, we were friends since i was 13. We got married at 19. During our marriage, he cheated on me multiple times. I always took him back because i thought it was the best for our family. After he walked out, he moved in with the woman he cheated on me with. Even with this, every couple of weeks he messages me he misses me and he regrets all this. I feel like he wants me to stay in the same place as he moves on.

our marriage was a sham. i did my best to make him happy but he never appreciated it. He always told me that i was not worth it. Two years later, those words still hurt. I see how he is with his girlfriend and maybe it was me, maybe i was the problem.

I was served the divorce papers yesterday and now i am back to feeling like crap. I try my best to not show a lot since my son sees how i am.

Thank you for hearing me out.

[LVNerdygirl]

I get that and it's tough. One thing I have learned from therapy is it is not you!! There is nothing wrong with you. My ex and your ex sound similar, selfish and do not beat yourself up for finally taking up room. You have spent years catering to him now it is time to love yourself, do for yourself. We don't deserve this, YOU don't deserve this

[sunflowersky]

Thank you. I have tried everything and i am not sure why i still have that in my mind. i look at him when he picks up my son and it is sad to me. I have support from family and friends but somehow i feel defeated and unwanted. He was my first real relationship that eventually led to marriage. All i know is him. How can someone just walk away and leave their family.

[Open Eyes]

Hi Sunflowersky welcome to my support forums. Wow, you have known this soon to be ex for a long time and you were married very young too. From what you have shared of his behavior, it's really time for you to follow through with this divorce and be free of this guy that clearly doesn't respect you. Please don't conclude this break up is your fault. It's time for you to learn how to be more independent, you are 26 and should be learning how to be and independent stronger you. The first step is seeing how unhealthy this guy has been for you and making the healthy choice of divorcing him instead of allowing him to keep using you and controlling you.

While you may feel like crap right now, after you regain your sense of self back you will see him for what he is and be thankful you have a chance to get a divorce so you can finally grow and live your OWN life now.

[LVNerdygirl]

Very true it is hard I many times can not understand my exs actions. It amazes me but that just goes into how selfish they truely are. I am going through the exact same thing. My ex is a monster and yet every time I will drop everything for ex. Its not healthy and it hurts deeply.

[sunflowersky]

Thank you. i realize i need to break away from him. I just get triggers of all that i endured with him. It gets easier through time, but its still hard. i think it would be easier if i did not have to see him again. But since we have our child. I have to build up the courage to just leave him behind as well as all the anger i have for him.

[sarahsweets]

Get a good lawyer asap. It is not your fault that he cheated and you need to protect yourself.

Originally Posted by sunflowersky

Hi Everyone,

I have been separated from my husband for 2 years, he actually walked out. We were married 7 years when he said he did not want to be with me anymore. However, we were friends since i was 13. We got married at 19. During our marriage, he cheated on me multiple times. I always took him back because i thought it was the best for our family. After he walked out, he moved in with the woman he cheated on me with. Even with this, every couple of weeks he messages me he misses me and he regrets all this. I feel like he wants me to stay in the same place as he moves on.

our marriage was a sham. i did my best to make him happy but he never appreciated it. He always told me that i was not worth it. Two years later, those words still hurt. I see how he is with his girlfriend and maybe it was me, maybe i was the problem.

I was served the divorce papers yesterday and now i am back to feeling like crap. I try my best to not show a lot since my son sees how i am.

Thank you for hearing me out.