Feeling uncared about and want to isolate myself

My husband was verbally and physically abusive and it took me a while to realize I completely domt want to do this anymore. Keep in mind that I'm 22, have a 2 year old and was married for 3 years. Anyway. I finally left and went to my aunts house because i feel that my parents dont care because they wont reach out to me even though they knew he hit me. So yeah I'm mostly dealing with loneliness and jealousy right now. I wanted to be in love so badly and now i feel upset when i see my aunt with her husband. I got married a little bit before she did and the fact that she can continue growing her family and i cant just constantly bothers me and I'm trying to move out of her house to avoid these feelings coming up, but its taking a while.

I put in an application for an apartment but the man at the apartment office wasnt sure if they would have some where within the next 2 weeks. Im feeling all types of emotions, I feel like nobody understands. I dont have any friends and mostly talk to my aunts. Theyre all married and never been divorced so i feel like they dont understand. But it also hurts that no one ever reaches out to me. I always call them crying and they comfort me, then after that theres no follow up to see how I'm doing. I just see them all texting and laughing in our family chatroom, mean while i just feel really depressed. I think I'm being too needy but its just really hard to stop thinking this way. I feel so much regret marrying this guy, and i want to talk about it a lot, but the aunt I'm staying with is starting to get tired of it i think. I just wish I could find someone who loves me to just give me some relief from this loneliness, but I'm very religious, so i can't have a boyfriend, only marriage and that's a big commit that I know its best not to rush into but i want someone so bad its painful. I just want to take my son and get away from everyone since they dont care. We're been separated for 2 months, am in the process of getting a divorce. I just dont know whats best for me right now. It hurts to have no one to hold me when i cry.

Hi @Subella - welcome to MSF My Support Forums. I am sorry your are feel low after the separation in your marriage.

Have you considered talking to people in your religion. Another idea is online support groups like DBSA and NAMI.

Also hope you find the support you are looking for here. @CANDC

Welcome! So Sorry you're struggling! i agree with the wise and wonderful CANDC about perhaps talking about this to people in your Religion and perhaps joining some support groups. It is truly terrible that you've had to go through this. i Hope you'll come out of this stronger than ever before. Take your time to cope with this. Hopefully you can handle this. We have a forum dedicated to survivors of abuse so you may be interested in checking that one out. Feel free to contact the admins and moderators in case you need assistance. i am also available if you need it and Hopefully many others as Well. i Hope things will improve soon for you and everyone. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Subella, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

It's perfectly normal to want to have someone to love and hold you. I see no reason why you can't look forward to having that someday. Firstly, you need to get completely out of this bad marriage. My guess is that you married a man you didn't know very well. My next guess is that you might have done that because you were in a hurry to be loved. You have to stop being in such a rush. Otherwise you are going to jump into another bad relationship. For now, of course, you are going to grieve the loss of a dream and feel very lonely. There's no escaping that pain. When you see your aunts in marriages that are working, that should give you hope. Their lives show you what is possible in life. Learn from them. What they did, you also can do.

Instead of describing your heartbreak over and over to your aunt, try becoming a better listener. Ask your aunt to talk about how she figured out that she had found the right man to be with. Ask your aunts to talk about what they looked for, when they were trying to find husbands. Some of them probably had past relationships that didn't work out. Ask about how they got over those disappointments. Even now, their lives aren't perfect every day. Life is hard at times for everyone.

Your aunts want you to heal and go on to a better future. They see you stuck in the pain of the loss you feel now. They don't want to encourage you to dwell only on that. Find other things to talk about.

Yes, laying the groundwork for a better future will "take awhile." That's the way it goes. You have dues to pay. Meanwhile, it's nice that your aunt and her husband have provided you with a place to take refuge, until you can get your own housing. That is very good of them.

Look into what resources your community has for women coming out of abusive relationships. There are plenty of other women like yourself. It would do you good to attend support groups for women who share your experience. It would give you something else to think about besides how content you think your aunts are. With such women, you might be able to have some heart to heart sharing about what you have come through and are still dealing with. They and the counselors at such support groups can provide the listening that you need right now.

Hello and welcome

I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

I divorced when I was 29 and had a 4 year old. My family was not at all supportive and I had to put my daughter in foster care for a couple of weeks while I sorted everything out. I did not see another man for 4 years . I was also very religious at the time.

I would echo what some of the other posters say and count your blessings. Not everyone has family they can talk to.

You have a 2 year old, right now that needs to be your focus. You say you are applying for your own apartment? That is a big responsibility.

There is a relationship forum with a special section on separation and divorce. You may find help there.

I know how much it hurts however right now you need to focus on your wellbeing and that of your child.

You said you were in a domestic violence situation. There are services for abused women that can help. Please look into them in your community. Raising a child on your own is a big task. Please avail yourself of whatever resources are available to you. Food, clothing, shelter.