[Mommybear1]

Hi! I have 2yr old. My husband and I have been together for over 10 yrs. our relationship wasn’t great and then we had our daughter and I thought he would be better. But it has been rough. He constantly puts himself first and video games and would rather play with his nephews than his own daughter.

Possible trigger:

He has hit her hard enough to bruise and leave welts

and since then I don’t leave him alone with her. I was told if I left he would get custody and I’m petrified of leaving her alone with him. So now a year later she sees and understands everything and when he gets upset she won’t go near him. So it’s gotten bad he just screams and calls me names in front of her so I have left the house with her as soon as I know he will be home. I’ve said if you want to see her let me know what you have done wrong towards her and how you will change to be better around her and he’s like I’ve done nothing there’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t have to do anything. I would do anything for my child he will not. He hasn’t seen her in days and I keep trying and he won’t admit to doing anything wrong. I want a divorce but I’m scared he will get half custody and I’m scared of what he will do to her or if he will just completely neglect her. What do I do? How do I get full custody. I literally shield her from her and carry her out of the room when he starts screaming. And it’s breaking my heart that her own father won’t do anything to see her. All I want is an acknowledgement that how he acts towards her and around her isn’t right and I just keep trying and I just keep getting so upset that he doesn’t love her. So any advice on how to proceed? How to get full custody or where to go from here?

[divine1966]

I don’t understand . He beats her so bad that he left marks and he is still around and your concern is how to make him love her? And you are still with him? He is a violent man. Did you call police and made a report and got him arrested when he injured her? That would be enough to start the process. But if you don’t get authorities involved then I guess you have no evidence. Where are you staying now?

[Marie123]

She is being abused and you cannot shield her from what he has already done. See an attorney and find out what you need to know; the first consultation is usually free. In other words take steps immediately. He isn't going to stop the abuse. Is there someone you can go and stay with? Don't discuss seeing an attorney or even talk about divorce, don't give him any information; he doesn't care what you think.

[divine1966]

This man is dangerous. Are there pictures of the injuries he inflicted on her?

Stop asking him to admit to something.

[Rive.]

This is child abuse. You should have reported him the first time he lay hands on your daughter. This would have been documented and you would have proof.

Why are you still with him? Physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse is *not* acceptable. Leave - and take your child with you.

Give this vulnerable, innocent, child a chance not to be scarred or traumatised for life by leaving this abuser.

[Mommybear1]

I reported the abuse and was told I couldn’t prove he had did it. The cops have been involved but have done nothing since it’s a she said he said even with proof. Since it has only happened twice and it’s Not habitual they aren’t doing anything and won’t help me. I talked to a lawyer when it happened and was told if I really felt she wouldn’t b safe to stay and protect her so I did. I just can’t do it anymore and I’m a stay at home mom so I feel stuck and trapped.

[divine1966]

What do you mean they can’t prove it. So if there were welts and bruises, who the police said inflicted them on a child? It happened more than once? The lawyer told you to stay with a violent man? What???

Take yourself to domestic abuse shelter. They’ll help you. Longer you stay worse it will get. “Stay at home mom” is not an excuse for subjecting your child to abuse. Call child protective service and call domestic abuse shelter. They’ll come and get you and support you through getting on your feet

[Open Eyes]

You need to set up hidden cameras so you can catch him on film. It isn’t just physical abuse but his yelling at the baby is causing emotional scars that can last her lifetime.