I Think I Learned Too Late:

JustTotallyLost · Aug 04, 2023 at 02:47 PM

Today has been a real struggle.

Open Eyes · Aug 04, 2023 at 02:50 PM

I’m sorry. It sounds like your wife can be cold and off putting and not willing to give you actual positives about yourself. It’s no wonder you get confused.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 04, 2023 at 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I’m sorry. It sounds like your wife can be cold and off putting and not willing to give you actual positives about yourself. It’s no wonder you get confused.

I'm tryin to accept this.

I miss talking about our days, how lavender smells, the way you can smell rain coming, what we had planned for our future.

Living in silent solitude is so hard for me.

Open Eyes · Aug 04, 2023 at 06:47 PM

I think the social trend has been slowly developing into a lot more self serving where society doesn’t know how to care and listen. It seems like many feel like you do, somewhat lonely and disconnected and reaching out turns into servicing the needs of others instead. I think that your wife doesn’t know how to give like you, so she gets uncomfortable and pushes you away by putting you down. It doesn’t mean you don’t have value as a person. Instead often it means others don’t know what valuing and respecting means.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 04, 2023 at 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I think the social trend has been slowly developing into a lot more self serving where society doesn’t know how to care and listen. It seems like many feel like you do, somewhat lonely and disconnected and reaching out turns into servicing the needs of others instead. I think that your wife doesn’t know how to give like you, so she gets uncomfortable and pushes you away by putting you down. It doesn’t mean you don’t have value as a person. Instead often it means others don’t know what valuing and respecting means.

I can't talk with guy friends on the deep level at which i desire to connect.

Open Eyes · Aug 04, 2023 at 08:04 PM

I believe you and this is a problem with men in that many don’t learn how to connect on a deep level. Instead they express frustration and blow up in anger.

JustTotallyLost · 03:39 AM

I met a very cool Romanian chic at the event. She was actually working as kitchen staff and what a cool person to hang out with.

I got her to laughing with my broken Romanian.

Naturally, there were some uber-wealthy women there, but this woman had a really, extraordinarily sweet spirit that stood out.

Open Eyes · Aug 05, 2023 at 04:58 AM

No designer this and that this time, instead something real and better.

Open Eyes · Aug 05, 2023 at 05:29 AM

If you pay attention there are people who are capable of caring. They are people that see a turtle on the road and they take the time to stop and help it get to where it’s heading instead of it being at risk of getting run over.

Then there are the people who ONLY would do that if they knew people were watching. Otherwise, these fake people could not care a less about the turtle. Which person do you think has the ability to have a deep conversation that you so desire?

JustTotallyLost · Aug 05, 2023 at 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

If you pay attention there are people who are capable of caring. They are people that see a turtle on the road and they take the time to stop and help it get to where it’s heading instead of it being at risk of getting run over.

Then there are the people who ONLY would do that if they knew people were watching. Otherwise, these fake people could not care a less about the turtle. Which person do you think has the ability to have a deep conversation that you so desire?

Wow!!!! Exactly!!!!!

JustTotallyLost · Aug 05, 2023 at 05:26 PM

This morning, i was moving stuff out of the home and realized that who my wife is now, and who she was when we met, are totally different people.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 05, 2023 at 05:32 PM

Remember the tall Latina at the airport cafe? We hadn't been there in 2 weeks and today, she was a totally different person. She was joking with us (the band) and all the guys asked me, "what did you do to her?"

I told them, "I just pointed out her value."

Before we left, i asked her, "Joanna, how is it that you look more beautiful every time i see you?"

She smiled and said, "its because you are so kind to me, it just makes me smile every time i see you."

Then, i told her as i was checking out, "You are my favorite part of coming here."

She smiled and said, "You are my favorite part of my dreams, God bless you and have a wonderful weekend.!"

JustTotallyLost · Aug 05, 2023 at 10:09 PM

Performing tonight.

Open Eyes · Aug 06, 2023 at 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustTotallyLost

This morning, i was moving stuff out of the home and realized that who my wife is now, and who she was when we met, are totally different people.

I think what has changed is more about how you are finally seeing and experiencing who she really is, her true character.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 06, 2023 at 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I think what has changed is more about how you are finally seeing and experiencing who she really is, her true character.

So many things going through my head...

Having to move out of the house that has been my home the past 7 years.

Trying to sort through the stuff that needs to be moved

Renting a small storage.

Just seems so strange to be going through this at 57.

Open Eyes · Aug 06, 2023 at 10:41 AM

Unfortunately it happens to a lot of people in their 50’s. It’s not just you.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 06, 2023 at 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Unfortunately it happens to a lot of people in their 50’s. It’s not just you.

Funny, i asked for 30 days to move out and she charged me $1,000

Open Eyes · Aug 06, 2023 at 09:36 PM

She is showing you her true character.

Yet she has said a lot of mean things to you giving you glimpses of her true character all along.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 07, 2023 at 08:08 AM

Things were much more peaceful during our interaction yesterday. I guess the ending of our relationship is sinking in for both of us.

She has actually started telling a few people about the split, which surprised me.

Her "official" version of the split is that we simply discovered we were on different paths, no longer wanted/valued the same things, and decided to amicably end the relationship.

I think that's a good reason for public dissemination anyways.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 07, 2023 at 03:01 PM

I got the keys to my studio apartment today. Its smaller than the kitchen in the home I'm moving out of.

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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 04, 2023 at 02:47 PM #401 Today has been a real struggle.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,249 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 04, 2023 at 02:50 PM #402 I’m sorry. It sounds like your wife can be cold and off putting and not willing to give you actual positives about yourself. It’s no wonder you get confused.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,249 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 04, 2023 at 08:04 PM #406 I believe you and this is a problem with men in that many don’t learn how to connect on a deep level. Instead they express frustration and blow up in anger.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,249 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 05, 2023 at 04:58 AM #408 No designer this and that this time, instead something real and better.
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 05, 2023 at 05:26 PM #411 This morning, i was moving stuff out of the home and realized that who my wife is now, and who she was when we met, are totally different people.
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 05, 2023 at 10:09 PM #413 Performing tonight.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,249 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 06, 2023 at 10:41 AM #416 Unfortunately it happens to a lot of people in their 50’s. It’s not just you.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,249 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 06, 2023 at 09:36 PM #418 She is showing you her true character. Yet she has said a lot of mean things to you giving you glimpses of her true character all along.
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 07, 2023 at 03:01 PM #420 I got the keys to my studio apartment today. Its smaller than the kitchen in the home I'm moving out of.
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