I Think I Learned Too Late:

JustTotallyLost · Aug 14, 2023 at 09:46 AM

I moved the last of my things out yesterday, two days ahead of our agreed upon exit date of August 15.

I turned my garage door opener over to her and we shared a very long, tearful hug.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 14, 2023 at 10:37 AM

AT yet long last i stood before the home where once i lived.

And realized, through tear dimmed eyes, i'd nothing more to give.

The streets upon i walked thereon a thousand miles lay silent

The song of birds, their hidden words, call out to me so vibrant

The castle that was once our world seems strangely convoluted

For in flash, my hopes were dashed, my fluer-de-lis uprooted.

No hopeful thought, no loving gaze, no water in that well.

But I've no fear in leaving here, I've served my time in hell.

Open Eyes · Aug 14, 2023 at 01:01 PM

Your wife sounds like a very lost and confused person, but it’s not right to deprive you and say hurtful things to you one minute and then act all nice the next minute. It sounds like she used you when her marriage to some wealthy man went very sour and he turned out to be a creepy pedophile preying on his own child.

It’s best you are stepping away and starting fresh.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 14, 2023 at 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Your wife sounds like a very lost and confused person, but it’s not right to deprive you and say hurtful things to you one minute and then act all nice the next minute. It sounds like she used you when her marriage to some wealthy man went very sour and he turned out to be a creepy pedophile preying on his own child.

It’s best you are stepping away and starting fresh.

Its just the hardest thing I've ever done.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 14, 2023 at 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Your wife sounds like a very lost and confused person, but it’s not right to deprive you and say hurtful things to you one minute and then act all nice the next minute. It sounds like she used you when her marriage to some wealthy man went very sour and he turned out to be a creepy pedophile preying on his own child.

It’s best you are stepping away and starting fresh.

My 19 year old daughter had anxiety attacks yesterday after i moved out. I was in a hurry to get the trailer back and didn't see her in the house and left without saying goodbye.

I reached out to her today and let her know we will have a dinner soon so she can talk about her feelings.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 14, 2023 at 09:03 PM

The bartender wants to come over. I was like, "WTF? This place is a studio apartment!"

She's like, "I'm comin' to see you, not the apartment."

But, TBTH, my heart and my commitment are with my wife and although a very exciting proposition, it doesn't feel right.

Open Eyes · Aug 14, 2023 at 09:38 PM

Explain that you are not settled in and not ready.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 14, 2023 at 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Explain that you are not settled in and not ready.

I think i did even better than that. I just told her that someone holds my heart and i am not worth anything beyond just friendship, no matter how exciting this might feel.

Open Eyes · Aug 14, 2023 at 10:28 PM

This bartender is 28 years old right? I think that’s a bit young for you.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 15, 2023 at 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

This bartender is 28 years old right? I think that’s a bit young for you.

Yep.

I agree. But, she is a thing of absolute beauty, like looking at a Ferrari in a parking lot full of Teslas. I love the architecture.

My ex wife (not present) was 15 years younger than me and we had surprisingly few issues other than she was a very mean-spirited person, but that wasn't due to her age.

Open Eyes · 04:41 PM

What concerns me about you is how much value you put on the physical and desiring some kind of perfection. There are many women who use their looks to use men. The same is true for men. The danger in this is placing your value in the hands of someone who is attractive and plays sweet but is a user that doesn’t really love but just uses is setting yourself up to be hurt and abused. This type of person can be found in both women and men.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 15, 2023 at 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

What concerns me about you is how much value you put on the physical and desiring some kind of perfection. There are many women who use their looks to use men. The same is true for men. The danger in this is placing your value in the hands of someone who is attractive and plays sweet but is a user that doesn’t really love but just uses is setting yourself up to be hurt and abused. This type of person can be found in both women and men.

Very valid points! I think one would have to strike a balance.

My wife is 54 with a 6 pack and ive always kinda been drawn to women who kept themselves in nice shape, although I'd venture to say none of these women could be referred to as "perfect" by any means.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 16, 2023 at 08:29 AM

I'll tell you that i don't like being alone.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 16, 2023 at 08:56 AM

I've kinda withdrawn more. I went to bed at 8pm last night. I can't understand this. Not knowing or even suspecting any kind of sense of direction is very unsettling.

Saturday I'll be performing again and I'll feel alive, but until then, ots really hard.

Open Eyes · Aug 16, 2023 at 11:25 AM

Can you find a way to perform on Wednesdays?

JustTotallyLost · Aug 16, 2023 at 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Can you find a way to perform on Wednesdays?

My job schedule is too tight!

JustTotallyLost · Aug 16, 2023 at 05:28 PM

@Open Eyes - i feel like im moving from hurt/crying to just being pissed off and i dont like how it feels!!!!

JustTotallyLost · Aug 16, 2023 at 06:23 PM

Help!!!!!+

Open Eyes · Aug 16, 2023 at 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustTotallyLost

@Open Eyes - i feel like im moving from hurt/crying to just being pissed off and i dont like how it feels!!!!

This is normal for what you are experiencing. The important part of this emotional reaction is that it leads to you being able to see your own value. Anger isn’t bad in that it speaks to your self love.

Open Eyes · Aug 16, 2023 at 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustTotallyLost

Help!!!!!+

It’s ok to have feelings JTL.

you

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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 14, 2023 at 09:46 AM #461 I moved the last of my things out yesterday, two days ahead of our agreed upon exit date of August 15. I turned my garage door opener over to her and we shared a very long, tearful hug.
	Reply With Quote

JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 14, 2023 at 09:03 PM #466 The bartender wants to come over. I was like, "WTF? This place is a studio apartment!" She's like, "I'm comin' to see you, not the apartment." But, TBTH, my heart and my commitment are with my wife and although a very exciting proposition, it doesn't feel right.
	Reply With Quote

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 14, 2023 at 09:38 PM #467 Explain that you are not settled in and not ready.
	Reply With Quote

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 14, 2023 at 10:28 PM #469 This bartender is 28 years old right? I think that’s a bit young for you.
	Reply With Quote

JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 16, 2023 at 08:29 AM #473 I'll tell you that i don't like being alone.
	Reply With Quote

JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 16, 2023 at 08:56 AM #474 I've kinda withdrawn more. I went to bed at 8pm last night. I can't understand this. Not knowing or even suspecting any kind of sense of direction is very unsettling. Saturday I'll be performing again and I'll feel alive, but until then, ots really hard.
	Reply With Quote

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 16, 2023 at 11:25 AM #475 Can you find a way to perform on Wednesdays?
	Reply With Quote

JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 16, 2023 at 05:28 PM #477 @Open Eyes - i feel like im moving from hurt/crying to just being pissed off and i dont like how it feels!!!!
	Reply With Quote

JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 16, 2023 at 06:23 PM #478 Help!!!!!+
	Reply With Quote