[HurtAndLost]

I am a 41 female. I've been with my husband for 20 years, married for 19. I have a 3 year old (will be 4 in May) daughter. I haven't worked for 20 years as my husband told me I didn't have to and he would provide for me. I don't have a driver's license as I was always to afraid to learn and back in highschool I couldn't afford the class anyways.

My husband recently got a new job that he has to travel occasionally for. The first trip was 3 weeks. This latest trip was supposed to be for 2 months. He was gone for 3 weeks, came home for the week of Christmas, and back until February.

When he was home for that week, I knew something was off. He didn't want to spend much time with me alone. I kept asking him if there was someone else and he kept telling me no. He finally wants to spend time with me the night before he heads back, but I was so upset from him rejecting me all week I basically told him to f*** off.

Shortly after New years, he was on a video chat with our daughter for bedtime and I noticed he was drinking something. Turned out to be vodka. When I asked who got him into vodka, he reached out of frame and said, "you're not going to like this," and pulls this woman into the view. He had been seeing her since before Christmas and they were in love. She had no place to go, so he let her stay in his hotel room with him. That's right, he's only been seeing her for 3 weeks at this point, and he's in love and wants a divorce.

I have nowhere to go. My family lives in another state across the country. So I have no support system here. He's letting me stay here for the time being, but I need to be out with my daughter in 3 or 4 months as that's when he's moving her up here to be with him. And I just found out last night that they got engaged. Still married to me, but engaged to her. They've only known each other 2 months now.

He promised me some custody but wants visitation. I want to move with her across the country to be with my family. Again, I have no support here. At least with my family we will have a place to stay, I can get a job and there is always someone there with my daughter, she has cousins to play with, and everyone loves her and she them.

I know my husband is going to fight me on it, but I really believe it's what's best for my daughter. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my daughter or be forced to stay here with no one to look after her while I work (we can't afford childcare) and have no support

[Nammu]

You need a lawyer. He can pay for it. Yes it would be best to go back to your family where you have support. He’s not in love, he infatuated.