[tautologic]

I am devistated. After 18 years of marriage. 2 Kids. Various diagnoses, meds and therapy...my Depressed husband walked out. I posted several months ago, he took himself off of all meds in December. Since then he has been cycling all over the place and is back to a completely skewed perspective on life. According to him I am the "reason he was ever depressed and why he never grew up and doesn't know who he really is." Oh but hes "learning now that hes off meds." And leaving me is apparently the only thing he can think of that will solve his problems. Because "he despises me".
Im so heartsick over this.

[wounded1]

(((((tautologic)))))

I am so sorry that you are being hurt by a man who is obviously too stubborn to take an honest look at his problem. I too had a family member who refused to take their meds, and the lack of logic involved is so incredibly frustrating for those that love that person. And inevitibley, the blame for lack of progress and/or unhappiness, is projected outward to those closest to them.

You can't make a person who doesn't think they need help get it. You can't reason with someone who is not reasonable. I am so sorry for your pain.

I hope you have tons of support during this difficult time (maybe even a therapist you can talk too?). Please try to surround yourself with love, and feel free to PM me anytime you need to. I have received so much love and caring on this forum, I would like to give as much back as I can!!

[AAAAA]

(((((tautologic))))) I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s so easy to blame someone else for our own faults. Hopefully being on his own will be a wake up call for him, he won’t have you to blame and make things better so he’ll have to take some responsibility for his own actions. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[bebop]

will he consider counseling? I am sorry this is happening to you and him.

[sunrise]

tautologic, I'm so sorry. How old are your kids? Are they grown up or still living with you? I agree about couples counseling--can the two of you give it a try? Maybe you can suggest it to him "for the sake of your kids."

You said he's been in therapy. Do you know if the therapist suggested he go off meds? Therapists can help brainstorm solutions so that the client can see more than one choice ("leaving me is the only thing he can think of that will solve his problems"). Do you think he was in therapy a while exploring this issue and these are the conclusions he came up with? If the therapist doesn't agree with your H's decision to go off meds, could the T help convince him to go back on?

[CedarS]

(((((tautologic)))))

[wanttoheal]

I'm so sorry ((((((((((tautologic))))))))))))). I know when my son has been off his meds in the past, he has played the blame game. Maybe husband will have some realizations while he is on his own and be willing to accept help. I'm so sorry. I hope things will work out for you guys.

[Plan_B]

OMG I am so sorry. Get some help and support for you because clearly you are a giving person and have tried to help him but you can't help him. I am so so very sorry for your pain.