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#1
Oct 04, 2008, 10:19 AM
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Just this week found out that my husband HAD a relationship (no sex) with his secretary. They kissed quite a lot, e-mailed and phoned. He thought he was in love with her and told her that he loved her. After a few weeks he realized that he wanted to be with me and ended it. Her husband told me what they had done. I knew that something had happened, but my husband wouldn't tell me. What do I do? I love him and we had what I thought was a happy life, and he had to spoil it all by chasing cheap thrills that weren't genuine feelings of love. How can we go on with our lives with me throwing this in his face every time he irritates me? I must add that this is the 2nd time in 15 years that something like this has happened, but last time another person wasn;t involve it was all via the internet.
Can anyone advise me on how to heal? He really is truely sorry, but how can I forgive him? |
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#2
Oct 09, 2008, 12:26 PM
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I can't give advice about forgiving... all I can tell you is that from my own experience, what I thought was just once, or was just online, or was just kissing... really was much much more. It was so painful to find out little bits of truth at a time - extended over a few months. I wanted so much to believe the "it was only...." but it was more. I don't want to suggest you become the cynic I've become, but try to get him to really open up and help him to feel safe telling you the whole truth. You don't want to find out more later. At least for me, I'd rather know everything there is to know. Good luck!
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#3
Oct 10, 2008, 07:13 PM
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Sorry--for me it's a "no go"--it's over. Someone that will willingly hurt me in that way is not a partner for me. I've had enough pain in my life. I'm not signing up for any more. --Suzy
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#4
Oct 11, 2008, 07:50 PM
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Elizabeth Edwards has said that trust is her biggest problem with her and husband former presidential candidate John. If it is the only problem it might be delt with but in my relationship there were other problems like anger,alcohol abuse, annoying friends, and constant business travel. I wonder how Bill and Hillary deal with it?
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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