I feel like I'll be unhappy if I'm too underweight again & I'll be unhappy if I'm at a normal & healthy weight. I want to be too skinny again, though! Of course, my treatment team & others won't let me get down to the "too low" weight I was last year. I remember when I got cold easily, dizzy easily, & suddenly felt weak & tired. I even think I can never be too thin. I think, "I'll drop down to too low weight here & I'm fine, so I'll drop down to even lower weight here, & on down more. Of course, I'd end up inpatient & if the numbers on the scale were way too low, I could have a feeding tube; I've seen several who are inpatient where I go, & some had a feeding tube. I saw two again this week who did. I don't know what to do.

[*freak*]

Did you talk about this to someone of your treatment team? What did they say, did they suggest something useful?

Take care

I have said again on rare occasions that I'd like to be *blank* pounds (I purposely didn't put the number. I don't want to trigger anyone); they've never said anything about ever putting me on a feeding tube. My dietician & I have talked about the damage anorexia can do to my body. When my weight was so low last year, my psychologist I was seeing (I see a different one now because something happened to the one I'd been going to ) didn't want me going inpatient.

Thanks for responding! Take care.

[*freak*]

But have you ever been a little more specific? I think it would be beneficial for you to tell them what you have shared here... If you don't feel like talking about you could print out your first post and bring it to your T. Saying that you just want to weigh X pounds is different than expressing how you feel about it, why you want to be that thin etc. I think the more you tell them, the better they'll be able to help you...

[eskielover]

I think we can find a weight that is above the danger zone & below feeling too heavy.......where we don't get dizzy all the time & pass out every time we turn around & end up weak & tired.

I was in the medical hospital with a massive weight loss after going through a bad trauma when my Mother was dying of cancer (long story having to do with her home care persons abuse).....it wasn't until my blood count went so low that I became so amemic that they ended up doing the central line with IV nurtition. Once they got me through that this last time, it was a struggle to gain any weight, but I was finally able to get to a safe weight & have been able to stay there.

My anorexia is related to how I handle stress....stress makes me feel sick & then I can't eat & then I loose weight.....long term stress is a killer for me. I was an an even lower weight about 14 years ago when it was a combination of stress & medication that messed me up......the treatment center really wasn't a help (I was in for 1 month) but they didn't address what my problems were I didn't fit into their mold of for anorexia......it was over a year after that, my medical Dr would stick me in the hospital with the IV nutrition every time I would pass out. They will not do any of that unless you are so anemic that there is no other choice.....it isn't something they just do unless there is a medial necessity.....& from my own experience....it isn't something you want to have a medical necessity for.

It is much better feeling good & feeling strength to function......one can still look too thin even when they are at a safe weight.......the problem if you are too thin & then you end up getting sick because of something else....they you really end up in danger.

Feeling faint & week & tired....isn't glamorous.....it isn't safe.....it is much better to be at a weight where you feel ok & can function. As I found...what good is it going through life when you can't really live it?

I know there is a weight that can satisfy your health & your desired weight.......then you not only feel better, a lot less stress & everyone involved feels much better.

Take care of yourself first of all....you don't want to have the feeding tube or IV nutrition......there is nothing good about it.

Debbie

Wow, Debbie! I'm sorry to hear about your struggles! How are you now? I know it's hard for me to eat when I'm stressed or something else is going on. I'm getting ready to go through some changes in the next 2 1/2 weeks & then again in January. These aren't bad, but they make me want to slide back to EDs behaviors so I'll feel better. ED has been very loud lately! I don't know what to do.

Thanks for your response & help! Please take care.

Originally Posted by *freak*

But have you ever been a little more specific? I think it would be beneficial for you to tell them what you have shared here... If you don't feel like talking about you could print out your first post and bring it to your T. Saying that you just want to weigh X pounds is different than expressing how you feel about it, why you want to be that thin etc. I think the more you tell them, the better they'll be able to help you...

I really should either talk about this or print it out to show my psychologist & dietician. I want them to know why I feel like this. I feel like being really thin is the only thing I'm good at & I have to be perfect.

Thanks! That's all I can think of for now!