I cannot have more than one item of dessert in the house at a time.

The other day I wanted chocolate.

I'd been doing great on exercise, no bulima

Well I ate half of it, then the other half that night, just ate the parts with frosting.

Within the last two days I ate 6 carmel apples. Last week 3. At one sitting.

They're there and my mind figured well they are apples an apples are good for you.

One I'm allergic to peanuts so I'm paying for that.

And the huck of carmel it made is just sitting in my stomach aching hurting.

Making me feel like all the progress I made with exercise is blown.

So I took a laxative.

I have been doing great. I dont' bring in dessert. But But if I do I can't stop myself, unless I eat the portion I want then throw the rest away.

I used to take laxative every day for 5 years.

When I was younger I was anoexic. Sometime I'd completely forget to eat. I was a size 1. I can't even imagine that.

I will Never eat another carmel apple again. I really won't ....

Almost like my bipolar cycle up/down, eat/don't eat.

Oh well I am putting carmel apples on strike!!!!!!!!!

[darkrunner]

Hi Starlite,

Don't beat yoursel up....we all have slips.
My T says about recovery, "Progress not perfection."

She also says I need to work on 'containment' - meaning just because I have one slip, does not mean the whole day is a lost cause. The slip could be just an isolate incident if I can not let it ruin my whole day.....if I can put it out of my mind and keep trying.

And caramel isn't too bad for you, and the apples are great!
But I hope your tummy feels better....
Take care.....

[ZilchHour]

Realisation is the right step towards improvisation.
Regards
ZILCH HOUR

[phoenix47baby]

Dear Starlite,

I hear you. I understand the mind games that we go through with the apples and telling ourselves that they aren't so bad, having a few over the course of a few days and then four in one sitting. AArggh! I hear you. I have done it all. I just don't bring anything home from the grocery that I like to eat. If I do, I eat it in the car and throw the rest away. I hear you, girl. Just hang in there. I also understand about the laxatives, too.

((((((((((((((Starlite))))))))))))))))))

phoenix47baby

[eskielover]

Been there, done that too.

I have the problem of forgetting to eat mostly though......then when I go to the trouble of making food, I eat a couple of bites & it doesn't taste good. so I just eat a couple of bites & stick it back in the refrig.

Oh yes, the laxitives thing.....didn't quite do it for 5 years, but the medication I was on would constipate in the first place & then if I would gain a few pounds, that was the best way to get rid of the weight.

Hate that when the food I eat just sits there in my stomach & aches....most of the time that's why I eat only a few bites also.

I hate getting sick to my stomach.....that is the worst....so when I feel sick, I don't eat.....stress makes me feel that way quite often.....think it goes back to when I had the flu one time....when I get sick, I get violently sick.....it was so bad that it burst the blood vesicles in my eye....the whites were filled with red & my fact was spotted all over where the blood vesicles burst also......definitely does not leave me a good candidate for being bulimic.

Hope you feel better.....sometimes I put things I don't want to eat in the freezer...that way I have to thaw it out before I can eat it.....then I only thaw out what I really want to eat (not the whole gallon of ice cream.....NO).

We all slip up with our eating at times....know what you mean about that size 1.......what I am surprised at is the wide weight range the size 4 goes....it's been nice to find a size that I can wear with a few pounds up & down doesn't matter.

There was awhile I couldn't find any cloths that would fit....everything was too big & would fall off.....think when we get to that point, we really do need to look at ourselves as having a serious problem.

Take care....thinking about you,
Debbie

[Moreta]

I can totally relate. I bought a box of swiss rolls the other day and they were gone the next day.

[last_stanza]

im there too andcantget out

[possum220]

Awww Starlite its awful when we eat so much that our tummies really hurt. I hope things have settled down by now for you.

We don't have caramel apples in Aus. Mind you there are plenty of other options.

Hang in there.......

[turtlecat77]

I'm new to this forum, but have been battling with my food intake and the way I look for a long time and I feel your pain and hope that things get better for you. I had 2 peanut butter cookies today and didn't want to eat anything else because I felt so bad after I did that. I've gained alot of weight from taking anti-depressants and my husband teases me and pokes at my stomache just to be playful and I get so depressed about it but I don't tell him, so that is a big reason why i'm here. So that I can be of support and hopefully get support as well. I hope things get better for all of us.