[phoenix47baby]

I can think back as a child and most recently as an adult on the minute amounts of food that my mother served for dinner. Both she and my father were so afraid of their two children getting fat that they cut down on portion sizes at each mealtime and enrolled us in Olympic training events year round. Because of this process, food consumption in an amount over a normal portion is shameful to me and makes me feel like I am overeating and thus a loser. These thoughts were ingrained in me and now several years later they still linger. How to change a negative self-image into a positive one???????

Hi Phoenix,

I don't recall portion control . I was over fed as an infant . I have pictures of me at six months as obese.

I know my mother suffered with an ed . It was hidden though. Laxatives and told me she used to vomit. She spent alot of time in the bathroom .

But back in the days I grew up eating disorders were an unknown unlike now.

I was allowed to eat what I wanted but when I would eat all the candy my mother began to hide food from me as a method of control.

Both my father and mother were over weight . I was as a child but told I was not by my mother that I was just " healthy " The school nurse thought other wise and so did my peers. They knew the truth.

When I tried to go on a diet in my teens I was sabotaged.

If my parents knew about eds and were in recovery they coud have helped me rather than acted counter to what I needed.

I do not hink there is anything wrong with portion control.

When you read the instructions on the bag of dog food it says for what size dog 2 to 3 cups a day

1,5 in the morning

1.5 in the evening

my dog always got her food measured.

Same for us. But most people probablly 95% do not weigh and measure thier food .

Resaturants do. If they didn't they would not make a profit.

All the info for nutrition is based on specific measurements.

No one should be "shamed" though. And what you went through may have effected you.

A good book to read is called "The four agreements." The author says alot about the false and detrimental verbal conditioning many of us have been through. Its a way out to heal from untruths laid upon us.



Patricia

[Yoda]

No portion control with my family. My mother grew up in poverty where food was scarce. At Christmas if they were lucky they would have nuts and oranges to share. So my mom always overdid everything for us trying to make up for what she didn't have. She would encourage us to eat until we were full. Especially me because growing up I was tall and thin and the kids at school made fun of me and called me stick. I blossomed into a nice figure in high school but thought I was fat because I weighed 140 pounds. I look back at pictures of me in high school wearing a purple crushed velvet bikini and wonder why I didn't know what I had before I lost it.

My grandmother was the same with everybody who visited her house. She thought it rude to not offer food in case somebody might be hungry. I lived with her for two years when I worked as a paramedic in that country and one moment she would be chiding me because I had gained some weight and was no longer slender and the next moment she would be offering me cookies.

I am not very good about portion control with my son either. He and I are both mildly overweight and get little exercise except for carrying horse feed. I am always short on money at the end of the month so we eat less then because we have less and a couple of months ago I found twelve dollars in quarters in an old purse and was excited that we could buy food. We went to Burger King and decided to upsize the fries and drink and share it to save money and I was so much wanting a whopper sandwich but my son said he wanted a triple whopper. I couldn't tell him no and I only had enough left to buy myself a whopper junior. Which was fine for me but in the end my son regretted eating that much after eating little for several days because it made his belly hurt.

[whoswho]

If there's any "portion control" in my family, it's because of me.

My family is one of chronic over eaters. From what I've heard, I think my dad suffers from undiagnosed bulimia; he binges and restricts (although he binges for months and restricts for months; he did Atkins for well over a year once). His weight has ballooned from 500 lbs. to 180 lbs. (he's 62 now, and about 300 lbs.). My brother just binges. He's 19, and weighs more than 400 lbs. and just keeps gaining. My dad and brother actually binge together at night; my brother will eat 4 pounds of candy in a single sitting while my dad can eat a gallon of ice cream and a box of cinnamon rolls. I think the only one in my family without an ED is my mom; she's overweight, but from what I can tell, eats pretty healthily. However, I've noticed that our family dinners are much larger than what is served at my friend's houses.

I was a fat kid. Heck, I'm still a fat kid. But when I was 12, I weighed 240 lbs. That was my lowest point. I dieted and lost 80 lbs. But the stupid weight crept up on me, and I gained about 20 lbs. back over a few years. Of course, I freaked out and lost it again, and now I just oscillate anywhere between gaining/losing 10-20 lbs. every stupid month (lose 10, gain 10; lose 5, gain 15; etc.). My dieting is a lot like my dad's, except my "cycles" can be days or weeks and I fast or purge... So I am, by far, the "thinnest" in the family, but I'm not really "thin."

[eskielover]

We never had portion control.....but I sort of did my own portion control....I would stop when I felt full. For some reason, my body has always gone from eathing to the next bite being completely stuffed.....I quit....usually with a lot of food left on my plate. I hate taking a lot of food on my plate & wasting it though....so many times I take a little, eat that, & go back for more so I don't end up throwing it away.

I'm like Yoda now.....don't have the money by the end of the month. This month I went to Krogers.....most of the time I shop at WalMart. There were so many good looking foods even though I had just eaten, that I filled up the cart.....over spent way too much.......but I have enough dinner type food to make it through the winter....lol. Just will have to buy the monthly type stuff. Then there are some days when I just don't feel like cooking & can end up going a couple of days like that when I finally realize I haven't eaten for awile (usually my stomach finally starts to growl at me),

I always try to get as many meals as I can out of a dinner & even when I go out to eat, I usually end up with several meals out of one dinner......just because I stop when I get full. After having a very low weight for so long after going through the trauma with my Mother when she was dying, I have a more difficult time eating very much at one time. Snack foods are my down fall.....when I don't have money for snack foods, I can drop 5 pounds without even realizing it.

My Mother was always overweight for her size (she was also 5'2" like I am).....where my Dad could eat & eat & stay thin....not sure how much my mother sampled while she cooked....I know that's the way I cook...always have to make sure it tastes good......No portions....eat what we needed to be full, & then dinner was over.....always make sure the vegies were there....& some starch....stick to the ribs when there wasn't much money for food either.....but we always had good food to eat & never went without.

My anorexia comes mostly from stress, but when I start loosing, it's hard to want to stop either....so know there is ED hiding along with the stress.

[lynn P.]

I'm exactly like Eskielover. I eat until I'm full and luckily I'm blessed with good genes. My mother make 3 healthy square meals a day and there was never an issue with food. She encouraged us to eat but didn't force us to finish if we didn't want to. Same thing with my girls - I feed them and if they want more they can have it or it they don't feel like eating it all - that's fine to. The only thing I do limit is unhealthy snacks- it's okay to have 2 cookies but not 6 LOL or candy before dinner.

Looking back, I can see my mom did it, most definitely. It wasn't too bad at first, but middle school years and Highschool years she would always tell us, "the kitchens closed' after dinner, except on special occasions like birthdays or holiday where she would cook a dessert. I remember when I got my car in highschool, a couple of days a week I started to go to two or three fast food places and come home and gorge and then throw it all up before she came home. My other siblings never found out, they were usually aways until the time she came home from either after school activities or work themselves. I told her I had a problem, and went to a therapist about it- this was only the last year of my highschool. Then I considered myself over it- and occasionally binged in college, and ever so often no I do too. I have too much pressure from my mom it seems. I try to eat healthy and not over eat, but sometimes I can't help myself and eat too much over the cousre of a few weeks and 'diet' to get back to where I was, or rarely(10-15 times a year) binge and vomit. This is so funny that this is a topic. Because recently she's been on my case a lot about portion control, giving me all these tips, saying how she's lost some weight and all thzt. She seems to think she weighs the same as me. She didn't before, but now she's down to my size, and I feel pressured to lose weight. This past year I went up 20 lbs./ from my regular weight, so I'm already trying to limit myself and be healthy to get back to where I need to be, but I don't need her constant 'tips' or 'help' man, I wish m y mom loved me for who I am, without the 'contructive' criticism. That's not what she calls it, I just used quotes because it's gone beyond the point where it's helpful. I'm fine though, but sometimes she can really get to me. And that usually what gets me to binge and vomit. =(

Peace and Love always,
L.L.

[Sabrina]

I am on an eating plan where portion control is advocated in the correct amounts within the various food groups. I have lost a nice bit of weight with this. I measure and weigh out my foods more often than not. I just battle on weekends where I slip back into my old bad habits and binge on everything in sight.

Portion control is so important. Whether it is to reduce your weight, or keep you weight at a healthy level.

Perhaps you can address the fact that you feel shameful in therapy Phoenix47baby? You should not have to feel shame when you eat within reason. My thoughts are with you.

definitely no portion control in my family. I'm certainly not the only person in my family that struggles with food addiction and emotional eating. Though, I try to be more conscious of portion size from time to time I'm usually just too lazy to measure out my food. Although now that I'm heavier now then I ever have been I'm definitely going to get a handle on that because while portion sizes concern me they don't as much as they should. Sometimes I think my recent jump in liking my body instead of hating it is a BAD thing because now it get's harder to motivate myself to lose weight and get down to a healthy one.

Hi Pheonix,

Thanks for staring a valuable thread. And for you all to share so openly.

Patricia

[Sabrina]

I was thinking of something this morning. I have my meals on a smaller plate. Makes the plate seem loaded and my mind is "tricked" into believing I am eating more than I am. What about doing the opposite Phoenix? What about eating your normal sized meal on a larger plate, leaving lots of open space, "tricking" your mind into thinking you are eating less? Just a thought. Don't know if it's a good one though.

Thas\ts a good idea Sabrina. Ive been doing that myself on occasion.

[last_stanza]

no; all my mom and Dad did was say 'more veggies before more potatos!', which i think is a good way at going at it. They also enforced the milk-water rule - drink at least as much water as milk. They would limit deserts (obviously, otherwise you could have 5 pieces of cake). My whole family is thin, although my one brother is a little overweight, but that's the way my dad used to be - he grew out and then up, and is now a stick.
so i'm not really sure how i managed to land myself with an ed. not going into details.