[LostandLonleySoul]

I ahve no clue what is going on with me. It's like after I lost the baby that I have not been eating. I was anorexic as a kid and after my daughter was born I overate, I gained a lot of weight. I was about 400 pounds (maybe a little less) and I went down to 135 in a matter of a year and a half. My boyfriend made me gain weight (very abusive relationship) I got up to about 200 pounds and then in 4 months I am about 180 pounds. I look in the mirror and see this really fat *** blob monster. I don't eat and I just drink flavored water. I also think that my family is trying to poison me. I need help. I have no clue what is going on anymore.

[wi_fighter]

Kathie, you've been dealing with so much right now.

I hope things start to get better for you soon.

Hugs.

[mj14]

Kathie,

Are you in therapy? You have been through so much, and I would think it would be hard for anyone to cope with all of that alone. Having thoughts that your family is trying to poison you could be a sign that there's more going on than simply an eating issue.

As far as ED related stuff goes, I go to a site just about ED's, and from the people there, it doesn't seem that uncommon for people to swing from one ED to another, like not eating at all to compulsively eating. So you are not alone in waving between two extremes.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kathie}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Good luck.
Jo

[LostandLonleySoul]

ty wi_fighter. I have been hopeing that too. I just don't know what to do.

[LostandLonleySoul]

Ty Jo. I really appreciate the feedback. I am seeing a therapist. I only had a first session and that was it. I see her again in 3 weeks. Can you believe it? HA! Well i think that I ned to see her more often. It is my dime that we are on not hers. I'm rambleing again.

[eskielover]

Hi Kathie,

Rambling is ok because it lets out tour thoughts so we can later put them into some meaningful order.

As far as ED, I have had the not eating/then eating many times throughout my life....most of the time due to stress, I end up feeling so much nausea that I can't get any food or liquids down because I refuse to get sick to my stomach. I also had one really bad time that was initiated by AD's. Mine doesn't go away either when the situation is over or the medicine is stopped. I have always held onto the definition of an ED taking a "body image" issue which I really don't have even though most of the other things fit.

The rollercoaster can occur too....I went from 110 to 85 to 175 to 93 where I am bouncing around now after dealing with the trauma surrounding my mothers death the beginning of this year. While in the medical hospital this year, my GP did $60,000 of tests trying to determine what was causing the non-eating & drinking...to find out that is was nothing physical.

It is surprising how our mind controls our physical then physical controls mind. This is where a T comes in to help us sort out what is going on & help you get that "clue" that is missing. They help us learn how to gain control over what is happening....and this doesn't happen over night, or a month, or even a year....it all depends....& then it is something that can come back to bite throughout life.

I am not sure about the poisening but hopefully your T will be able to help you sort that issue out & how to deal with it.

Let us know how things are going,
Debbie