[t4me03]

I am at a loss. I have struggled with periods of anorexia/binge eating/bulimia and depression for the past 9 years. I've engaged in self-injury and suicidal thoughts for the past 4. I have been treated for my depression in the past, but not for the eating. I am a college senior getting ready to student teach in January. Teaching used to be the only thing that kept me going, but no I don't even know if I want to teach anymore. Being around food makes me want to cry. The holidays are terrifying me as they are filled with food and family, two things that I struggle with. Many people have told me that I should go to inpatient treatment for my ED, but medically I am stable. Plus I am terrified to tell my family. I honestly just want to die. If anyone could email me (t4me03 at yahoo) or comment on this with some suggestions I would really appreiciate it!!

[Omers]

When you were treated for your depression did they know about the ED? ED is very common especially in college. Does your college have a student counceling center? Mine did and they had a ton of experience with ED. I used the campus counceling center for a while (not for ED but other things) they never said anything to my family. Depending on your age they can't without your permission.

[t4me03]

One therapist new about the ED but the others didnt. Yes, my college has a counselling center, but they don't treat ED. I tried to go there once and they denied me.

[eskielover]

I went through the depression & suicidal issues from 1994 to almost 2002. It was actually the prozac that they prescribed that triggered the anorexia along with the fact that all my life, stress has caused me to feel so sick I never want to eat when stressed.....add that to the fact that anorexia was just sort of a passive way to suicide that wouldn't effect my family in the same way as another type of suicide would have.....it all fell into the mess my life was in at that time after I lost my career which was all my identity was about at that time.

I ended up going inpatient at a treatment center for just over a month back in 1996. It didn't help because my depression was so great that I didn't really want to live anyway......once I got past those feelings, it was much easier to handle the anorexia, but that took several years & many medical hospital stays with IV nutrition through a central line to keep me alive during that time.

Think the will to live is really the starting point to healing from an ED in the first place for many people who are not just dealing with the body image issues as the cause for the anorexia.....it's true that the ED needs to be treated & the nutritional aspects of our life need to be focused on, but when our basic desire to live is not there, no amount of other kind of help will change that.

Feel free to PM me about anything if you want..it seems from my experience that everyone's ED's can not be generalized the way they seem to try to do. We are complex individuals that need to be treated that way with respect.