[Jenn1fer82]

I'm 28 years old and I'm going into the new year wanting to lose weight. I've maintained my weight for years now and I was happy with those numbers. But since I've graduated from college in May 2010 I've gained some. I want to lose some more weight and feel good about myself. My problems are the triggers while I am dieting.

During my high school years I was bulimic and I obsessed with working out. I've learned how to put a limit to how I work out but its once I put myself on a diet I push myself to that point where I can't bare it but to binged and purged. Its that word DIET that turns on that light switch for me to turn into that person I am so ashamed of.

It takes more than just working out to lose weight. I know it has to be a combination with dieting and working out to reach my goal to lose weight but I just dont know how to do it without turning into that shameful person.

When I got healthy after high school I gained and was okay with that. I maintained a stable weight for years now but since then I gained some weight and I'm starting to feel desperate and it feels so familiar as though I'm 15 all over again. As I'm typing I can feel my heart racing because the emotions are so unbearable. I just want to hide.

I just want to get healthy but that borderline to turn back to that dark place is so close.

[2009Dutch]

Hello Jennifer,
I think for us, people with an eating disorder, dieting is not a solution, it may trigger you. What we need is a healthy foodpattern, and non-obsessed workouts, like workout for fun.

You might wanna edit your message, not mentioning the weight numbers, that could be a trigger too.

Happy new year to you