[maggyjo]

I ran 7 miles yesterday and I was probably upside down calorie wise. It is so hard to eat after I run, because I am not hungry and almost sickish. Today I woke up feeling horrible, tired, cranky and light headed. Yuck I hate feeling sick. I didn't eat much for breakfast because I had some morning appt. But I did eat a mid morning snack and even though it is 3pm I did just eat lunch. I am feeling slightly better. I have my recovery group tomorrow and I already told someone I am going so I will be accountable.

I may have messed things up with my new therapist, maybe I was trying to test her. Make her reject me or something I am not sure. But it didn't go well. I did make another appt but it is 2 weeks out.

Maggy Jo

[Elli-Beth]

Yay for saying it! I'm being nice to myself today, too! And I think testing your T is totally normal to help build that safety feeling.

[Captain Obvious]

Please Be careful, I have been down the path that you are forging ahead on right now. The body will crash, it can only take so much abuse. Try to refocus your aggressive nature towards food into a better one for you as a human being. Trust me, I get it. Try scheduling small snacks for your self make yourself accountable to yourself. Post a note some where you know you have to face it. Not in a place that causes discomfort or in a place that you will avoid. Perhaps your P.C. Make your self live up to your own request. I am glad that you are eating don’t get me wrong I just don’t want to see you burn more off than you put in. In my case I had to do it the hard way and physically suffer for my actions. I hope that you do not tread that path. You do not need that kind of jolt to your self esteem on top of what drives you now. I am glad that you are trying to be accountable, that is what it takes to succeed. As far as your interactions with your therapist, if you have another appointment you probably didn’t mess things up at all. Make sure the next time you visit you get something in you before you go. Have a fresh head on your shoulders they are trained to see how your brain works and the good ones can see the missing nutrients in your mental state. I will be frequenting this board a lot because I have been there, and a piece of me still ignores my bodies requests but I am in control now, as you can be. I am here if you need an ear or support feel free to contact me. Don’t let my flashy presentation fool you it’s there for a reason.