[buttrfli42481]

My t is wanting me to get help for my ed which I don't think is a problem right now. I have been maintaining my weight and eating fairly well on most days. How is that bad? I was pretty much told that if I don't start eating better, t was going to put me inpatient. I really don't want to go inpatient or even do any type of hospitalization because I am trying to do my job which requires me to be available during the day. I just don't see why t and her supervisor are now so worried about my weight. I know I am boarderline underweight, but I am still in the 'safe' range. I don't know how a hospital would even take me because I am not underweight. I am really frustrated and confused about it. I don't know what to do besides get defensive which really won't get me much of anywhere. I suppose I could gather information and counter them with it. I really don't want to be forced inpatient. I have a child that I have to take care of and if I was inpatient then that makes for a big complicated mess of having to involve people who really don't need to be involved (ex-in-laws). It also means another lecture of "why didn't you come to us before this was an issue." I am 30yrs old and my own person. I am not an invalid who cannot care for themselves. Nor am I not able to make my own decisions. I am mentally stable and can decide for myself what is best.

[avoice]

When I went inpatient I had three kids and that didn't stop me. Go for an assessment just check it out. I was 32 at the time i went now i'm 47.

[eskielover]

Not sure how they would put you in the hospital without your weight being unsafe. Unless your weight isn't safe, they can't claim that you are a danger to yourself & it would have to be a voluntary inpatient treatment. There is actually a wonderful eating disorders treatment center I think in ILL....know it was north of KY that the daughter-in-law of a lady at church went to the beginning of the year. Nothing like being there through the cold snowy winter....but it really helped her. It's always voluntary, but I really don't think that just being put inpatient at any psych hospital would be much a benefit to you either. So if they don't have a good treatment center that specializes in ED issues, you would probably be wasting your time & if you don't want the help you would be wasting time & money also. Think you really need to have a better quality talk with your T about your condition & why she feels the need. I do understand that when I was borderline underweight, it took NOTHING just a little stress, or even an illness to throw me over the edge to the quick slope it takes to being underweight.

My pdoc didn't realize how low my weight was because I never said anything to him & I was in a place thinking that it was better for my family if I were to die of anorexia than the OD's I kept trying before that. It was actually the prozac, then the wellbutrin that started my weight loss & that triggered my thoughts about how much less of a stigma it would cause my family. When pdoc found out how much weight I lost when my husband finally told him, he got me into an eating disorders treatment center.....over Thanksgiving & Christmas that year....I was 43 at the time & my daughter was in high school. My weight was dangerously low.......but no one understood that I didn't want to live at that point.....when the eating disorders staff grasped that, they stuck someone on me 24/7 for several weeks. I was really NOT in a place where I wanted any help at that point.......for the next year, I was in & out of the medical hospital every few months when I would pass out.....ended up having more central line IV nutrition stays in the hospital than I can count. Not even sure what or when the turning point was in all that mess.

The last time I ended up in the hospital (2004/2005) with the anorexia again was in the medical hospital....but it was after a trauma I went through & my mother was dying of cancer. My pdoc wanted to stick me in the pcych ward of another hospital, but my GP decided that he would medically admit me which at that time was much better to have the freedom that I needed to have in the hospital & my GP had the on staff pdoc & psychologist see me every day while I was in there......think over the 2 months, I was in about 1 month time.....although I was in & out trying to take care getting her arranged in the nursing home close to my home, then to get the hospice set up & then again for her funeral. Almost got stuck in the hospital at that time because I ended up so anemic that the pdoc said I wouldn't live if I left & he was going to stick me on a 72 hour hold, but my GP turned the other way & let me leave AMA with the promise to come back after the funeral & let him do the central line & IV nutrition. Everyone was trying to get me to find an eating disorders treatment center again, but every one I called & explained the situation said they had no help for trauma caused anorexia......they only dealt with body image issues.....pdoc & GP just didn't grasp the level of trauma that I had just gone through with the home care person for my mother....no one could have imagined that could have happened to someone with nothing much that my mother had other than her house. I had never been so frightened for my life or for my mother's even though she was already dying of cancer.


I have to admit, I don't eat much differently than it sounds like you are eating right now....one meal a day is about all I make for myself & when I don't have any junk food to munch on, I can drop weight so fast. One thing I found that really does keep me from loosing weight is being injured. When I had fractured my hip on a fall off a horse the first time after being anorexic, I started to gain weight. This last early spring, I fell off a horse again & fractured my back.....gained a bit of weight from the inactivity those few months.....but lost it all again as soon as I could start doing things & quit eating junk food snacking. Also after loosing one of my dogs this summer, I went back into the I can't eat mode where I was feeling sick every time I ate....but luckily it only lasted a few months.....but have a horrible time wanting to cook for only myself if I don't have something quick & simple to throw into the microwave.

[Gr3tta]

Sometimes I have to accept there is a disconnect between what I think is "okay" and what a medical professional would think is "okay." BUT I also don't like it when it feels like inpatient is being used as a threat.
Maybe you could make an agreement to have your health assessed by a medical doctor, and if the MD says you're okay, then inpatient's off the table for now, and agree to have your health assessed again in a few weeks/months?
I also think it would be a good idea to clarify what specific things T thinks you need inpatient for. Maybe T is noticing things that you are not aware of? Or maybe you have made progress in some areas, and T is unaware?
I think you should try to have an open mind in considering it is possible that inpatient is needed when T suggests it. However, you have a right to know exactly what for, and in what ways you could expect it to benefit you.
Thank you for sharing with us!