going to overeaters anonymous group

sooo... has anyone ever been to one of these overeater's anonymous groups? I know they have the same kind of concept as AA, with the 12-step program. I hope they don't emphasize the religion part because I am atheist. not to turn this into that topic. just saying I hope i can feel like i fit in. I don't have any friends though, so I am hoping it'll offer me support and possible friendships. i need to socialize. I am gonna muster up the courage to go to an OA meeting tonight at 7:30pm which is in less than 4 hours. anyway... if nothing else, can I get some hugs and support about going?? Getting nervous!!!

(((((((krisakira))))))

I have been in OA for about 4 and a half months now, and have been abstinent from overeating for the same amount of time. This program works, if the steps are followed!

As for you being an atheist, OA can work for everyone. I was not religious when I joined, and I'm still not. What matters is believing in a Higher Power greater than yourself. That doesn't have to be "God". It can be music, friendship, or the healing power of the OA group!

I hope you find this OA meeting to be a positive experience. Myself, I like to attend the online meetings as well.

Well, I went. It turns out all they focused on was the "spiritual" part of the recovery. So, as you would imagine, I didn't take to it very well. The problem might be that I don't believe in a power higher than the self. Oh well, I tried. Thanks for the hugs ((((((((hugs melissa back)))))))

hi, krisikira! in my town we have
an A.B.A group, which is pretty much o.a, though for all eating disorders.
i've gone to two meetings myself, my dr. recommended them, and i still don't know what to think. it is very small; it was me and ONE other person. what i really wanted was to hear first hand that not just ME has
these problems. really, sweetheart, i don't think there is any harm going,
whether you are a believer or not. in talking about our eating problems to
others, we are doing ourselves a lot of good. i tell myself that. i am going to attend when i can, when not working. this is my very first time in doing this, apart from individual therapy, where you are the focal point.
well, i hope i don't sound like i'm lecturing you. let us know how you're
doing, whether you keep going or not, okay, please? it was kind of neat
to hear someone from here was doing the same thing. love, brokenlegs

I was actually looking at an OA site yesterday and interested in finding a meeting. I too am an atheist and was put off by the "higher power" stuff. I never bothered to pursue it after that, and now I'm glad I didn't after reading your update! Maybe spiritual stuff works for some people but not me.

Sorry for influencing your decision, I have no intention of doing so. It was my experience with the particular group I went to. I'm sure other OA groups are different in what they really focus most on. I suggest you try it anyway, it might render a different experience than mine. I'm considering going to different groups in my area, as well.

I went to some OA meetings some years ago. After saying "Hi my name is hankster and I'm an Overeater" ten times in one freakin' hour, I came home and OVERATE! Honestly, I don't think you should seriously sit there and tell yourself again and again, I'm an overeater, I'm an overeater. Maybe positive affirmations don't work miracles to improve your self-esteem or your bank balance, but my brain and my stomach took me at my word when I kept telling them I was an overeater - not good! ican't believe I am the only person who has ever had this complaint with OA.

That's so interesting because I did the same thing. I overate the whole day before and after the meeting, even more than usual. It's like being a drug addict and not really feeling like you can change

Well, "alcoholic" is a condition, an adjective, based on a noun, but "overeater" is more of an ACTION word! EAT EAT EAT! At AA, they don't say, I DRINK BOOZE I DRINK BOOZE I DRINK BOOZE! That would be ridiculous and OBVIOUSLY counterproductive. But that's what they make you do at OA. Just another subtle way the fat person is undermined and disrespected in this society. I didn't like saying it at the meeting, and they were all like, you have to admit it, you're a compulsive overeater! (Well, NOW I am!) Before, I just had a very sedentary and stressful job with long unpredictable hours, a long commute, and i didn't eat right and exercise enough. And very thrifty genes.

mmm spirituality and atheism are not necessairly opposites.

buddhism is essentially atheism. you also may want to check out sam harris. he thinks that atheists can also be spiritual.

I'm sad to read the negative experiences that people have had with OA.

The goal of the meetings isn't to show up, say "I'm an overeater" multiple times, and go home. The program is much more than that. Overeating is an addiction, just like to alcohol or drugs. It is more difficult to define "abstinence" with overeating though, since we can't just avoid food...we'd die! Abstinence then, is basically not engaging in compulsive eating behaviours, including binge eating.

The point of OA is to admit that we cannot control our eating on our own, and then to trust that a power greater than ourselves can help us. This higher power does not need to be "God", it can be anything that is comfortable to you. One man in a 12 step program decided that his cane was his higher power, because it helped him to walk. This may sound silly, but it worked.

We cannot simply attend meetings either, and expect for this compulsive overeating to go away. Working the 12 steps is essential, and having a sponsor is highly recommended. Keeping in contact with someone who has experienced recovery is very important, as they can keep you accountable & help you work the 12 steps.

I hope that those individuals who have tried one meeting and didn't have a positive experience, don't give up on OA just because of that. It is recommended that the individual attends 6 meetings, to make sure that OA is/isn't right for them. The miracle doesn't happen overnight! The program is simple, but not easy. However, it is very worth it.

Also, if you don't like the face-to-face meetings in your area, there are wonderful online meetings that happen several times during the day. I attend one online meeting on a daily basis and find them so helpful.

Being in recovery and being abstinent is worth more than any amount of food in the world.

I agree - I just think I have different issues with food that are more ED-ana, even tho I am overweight. For me, abstinence means eating breakfast every morning now, instead of listening to the voice in my head that keeps saying, "Oh, I think I can wait a little longer before I HAVE to eat." I don't know where that voice came from, I suspect it came from a little girl who was afraid to wake up her mother who worked until after 2 am. I know I said that to myself every day when I worked and didn't take a regular lunch with my coworkers (i often had a therapy appointment in the morning so I arrived late and didn't feel entitled to leave, or WANT to leave - I could concentrate much better when everyone was gone!). or the schoolgirl who took communion every morning at mass to get the nuns' approval, but that meant no breakfast at home, and it was too complicated for me to figure out how to make breakfast for school. So it's more about learning to take proper care of myself, taking ownership of my needs, not neglecting myself, not thinking my needs are "too much". Not thinking I CAN'T take care of myself, which is something we hear on these pages. I CAN take care of myself, and not to make light, but it doesn't take a supernatural power to make toast! Then again, it IS good to give thanks for the gifts we have, and besides, how else do you explain electricity besides, it's magic? so I guess it does take a higher POWER after all. friday morning ramble scramble! I actually stopped going to OA when my not quite ex girlfriend's new girlfriend showed up at MY meeting and flaunted her flat belly and let me know who she was. Biotch!

i do not wish this thread be turned into a topic about religion.

I guess I am just not a believer in the 12-step program. Not saying i don't believe it works, because it is a very successful treatment program. Just that I do not believe in following it myself. I guess that was the problem for me the whole time with going to the meeting... I cannot imagine a life where I can't overeat when I want to, though. And ever since the meeting I've been eating non-stop

i forgot to mention, that that was a part i absolutely hated!! i would NEVER say that i'm a, whatever. it seems to confirm that you are, and always will be your disorder. hankster, i hear where you're coming from. also saying what you have is an ADDICTION, seems more harmful than helpful. won't that tend to make you just stay there? all i did was introduce myself by my name, nothing else.in saying you ARE something, won't that just reinforce it?

I never checked to see how old this post is, But I go to a 12 step program since my family member is a drug addict (nar-anon), and it's not religious at all! In fact that group is the best thing that has ever happened to me, its one of the only places I feel like I can say anything without being judged! They mention God hear and there, but just because they're referring to a "higher power". It's whatever you want it to be, I'm not religious either. Don't worry! I don't know exactly why your going, but I've always thought about food way too much, and I'd like to go to one of those meetings too...