[BEEBEEBear]

I don't technically have an eating disorder but suffer from anxiety and depression, and when going through bad patches I can go 1 of 2 ways. I either comfort eat and eat way to much or I go the complete opposite direction.

3 and a half weeks ago my psychologist who I had been working with for over 3 years passed away and I feel so distressed because I was very close to her and she was the only person that I feel able to talk to openly and honestly, the only one who truelly understood and knew the real me.

For 5 days after I heard the news I couldnt eat a thing, I tried after the funeral but trying made me feel sick, upset and could feel the start of a panic attack. Its just over 3 and a half weeks now and I haven't been able to eat a full meal since, just the odd sandwich or something her and there and feel really yuk for it.

I keep getting feelings of feeling weak and faint from time to time but, just don't have much desire at all to eat, I can sit and watch food programmes on the tv and thing things look nice but when I then go to the kitchen and look at all the food there I just feel empty and have no desire to eat any of it.

I am still drinking so I guess that probably a good things and do try to eat some of the time, not because I feel hungry but because I'm conscious that some of my family are worried about me not eating and I know I really should eat. It does worry me to but it kind of feels pointless to eat when your not feeling hungry, I mean sure my tummy grumbles but I still don't feel hungry even then.

I guess what isn't helping is that when I do finally manage to eat something I suffer for it later as I then get tummy aches and it end up just going straight through me which isn't very nice at all

Feeling a little lost...

[furbyturby10]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss! This must be incredibly difficult for you and I can understand your pain and despair. Is there anyone else you feel remotely comfortable talking with? Friend or co-worker even? Just remember how much progress you made with your psychologist and try and not let it go downhill! Think of what she would want you to do and how she would want you to react! Also there are so many people here that will talk or listen! You are not alone!