[iamspecial]

Ok i really don't know how to start this. Me personally don't think i have an eating disorder but i have been thinking about it a lot these days and well, i realised even when i was a small child i never used to eat much ever and my mom used to threaten me with "if you don't eat i will take you to the hospital and they will feed you through a tube" So it's not like it's only now that i don't eat much...it's been there all my life...has for as i can remember really.

I used to eat when people where watching me just so that they wouldn't think anything of it but if i wasn't being watched i wouldn't eat it. It's like now really, i eat in front of people so they see i'm eating but when i'm at my flat on my own i just don't even bother with food really. I can go with days where i don't eat anything at all but then when others come i force myself too but i don't get a lot b/c i know my body can't handle it.

Last year was such a bad year for me....i kept vomiting alot without knowing why i was....i wasn't making myself sick at all....all i had to do was eat something and not long after i would vomit....i couldn't keep anything down at all and i love loads of weight b/c of it....my doctor back home kept weighing me and wasn't happy with my weight....even my new one now that i see b/c i moved and live alone....she isn't happy with my weight either and wants me to gain it but i really don't want to gain it.

I really don't know anymore....does is sound like i do?? Could i have an ED?? OR is it just something else?? OR i really don't know!! Help anyone please??

[Christina86]

(((((iamspecial))))))))

As you know, nobody can diagnose you with an eating disorder (or anything else) here. But it sounds kinda troubling.

The situation with you being unable to keep food down - you went to the doctor, did they find any physical reason why you kept getting sick? Food poisoning, the flu, mono or anything else? Sometimes our minds can convince our bodies that we need to be sick, even if we aren't sick. Your mind can do a lot of things.

Do you think it's healthy to not eat for days at a time? Why don't you want to gain weight?

You can train your body to accept food, it just takes time - starting off with a small meal a day (breakfast is a good one) and doing that for a few days, adding a snack or another meal... continuing until you're at 2-3 meals and snacks per day. If you're worried about weight gain, not eating will actually force your body into starvation mode and you'll actually retain more weight. If you think you may want to lose weight, talk to your doctor or a dietician or nutritionist about healthy ways to do it. Crash dieting and restricting does havoc to your body.

(All of this being said from my own experiences and some books/articles I've read and not as a professional of course).

Do talk to a doctor and/or a therapist if it worries you this much.

[iamspecial]

Originally Posted by Christina86

(((((iamspecial))))))))

As you know, nobody can diagnose you with an eating disorder (or anything else) here. But it sounds kinda troubling.

The situation with you being unable to keep food down - you went to the doctor, did they find any physical reason why you kept getting sick? Food poisoning, the flu, mono or anything else? Sometimes our minds can convince our bodies that we need to be sick, even if we aren't sick. Your mind can do a lot of things.

Do you think it's healthy to not eat for days at a time? Why don't you want to gain weight?

You can train your body to accept food, it just takes time - starting off with a small meal a day (breakfast is a good one) and doing that for a few days, adding a snack or another meal... continuing until you're at 2-3 meals and snacks per day. If you're worried about weight gain, not eating will actually force your body into starvation mode and you'll actually retain more weight. If you think you may want to lose weight, talk to your doctor or a dietician or nutritionist about healthy ways to do it. Crash dieting and restricting does havoc to your body.

(All of this being said from my own experiences and some books/articles I've read and not as a professional of course).

Do talk to a doctor and/or a therapist if it worries you this much.

Thank You Christina, (((((Christina))))))))

I know that no one can diagnose me with an eating disorder (or anything else) here. But i'm just wondering if i'm just being stupid.

Thats why i asked....they did loads of test on me and everything came back fine....they couldn't find anything at all!! I was reffered to the hospital and even they couldn't find anything. i hate me brain right now .

No it really isn't healthy at all but i just don't feel hungry....most of the time i feel very sick or full even if i haven't had anything to eat. I guess it's my brain. I'm scared that i'm going to get has big as my mom and her sisters....i dont want to be that big....they are all trying to loose weight and finding it hard....so i try not to be like them.

I have been trying that Christina but it doesn't work for me anymore. I know about not eating you will gain weight from it but i just cant stand food atm and when i go see my new doctor i don't really tell her much b/c i dont really know her b/c shes new to me....my old doctor back home i have known all my life so i knew i could trust her....i dont trust people that well if i don't know them. No i don't want to lose it....i have nothing on me and i do need to gain it and i have been trying too and i think i have but i really don't know....i want my weight to be stable.

Thank you for sharing this Christina and thank you for your comment too!! I know i have to go back and see my doctor and tell her....there is a lot i need to tell her.

I don't have a therapist anymore....couldn't keep traveling back home to see her....i'm looking for one those where i live....hope my doctor will help me.

[Christina86]

You're not being stupid. You're genuinely concerned and you have every right to be. Sometimes our brains do things in our bodies that we can't figure out with a test of physical illness. Sounds like that may be the case for you?

I hope that in time you can trust your new doctor. I'm not a fan of doctors myself even though I have to see a lot of them! I hope the doctor can help you find a referral to a therapist too.