[purplelephant]

OK, so:

I'm a minor. That's crucial to this story.
I struggled with anorexia for like 6ish months, dropped a lot of weight, had to be put in the hospital because of my low heart rate, spent 10 weeks in treatment, etc etc

The treatment used involved my parents putting me ABOVE my highest ever weight. As someone with anorexia that would be awful no matter what, but I was always a "heavy" kid. So now I am officially medically overweight. I am not allowed to lose weight. I don't speak to my parents. I saw the need for eating and weight gain, but not the need to be overweight. I wanted to be put at a healthy, normal weight.

And I find that I'm really unhappy all the time now. And the weight's what I blame this on.

My friend said to me "so when you finally get control of your weight back you'll lose weight? and then it will all be better?"

And I was thinking "gee when you put it that way it sounds pretty awful, doesn't it?"

And it does. But it's so much more than that I think. It's about me being in control of MY BODY. It's about "Give me liberty or give me death." It's about being healthy. It's about not being the fat, ugly girl (the only thing I have ever been). It's about feeling, not excellent or gorgeous or emaciated, but capable of doing what I want to do. Capable of fitting in with society. And the worst part is, I have one more year of high school at least to live out. And then parents can make me sign a contract where I get weighed during college and if I drop any I get sent home. So I'm looking at at least five more years of this. More if they follow me to graduate school. LIVING HELL.

And so on the surface it's "shallow" anorexia. But inside it's so much more.

Am I wrong? Or maybe not right or wrong, but do you get it?

[surviving15]

I get it!! For that same reason I'm still in denial to get in treatment. But you should speak with your parents. My therapist told me that the point is not to gain weight if I don't want to is to eat healthy and maintain. Maybe they negotiate to put you in a plan in which you won't be overweight but healty. It is important to express how you feel. Sending you hugs!!!

Surviving15

[eskielover]

And the worst part is, I have one more year of high school at least to live out. And then parents can make me sign a contract where I get weighed during college and if I drop any I get sent home. So I'm looking at at least five more years of this. More if they follow me to graduate school. LIVING HELL.

I don't know of any colleges that do this kind of thing.....maybe your parents are paying for your college & it's a contract with them.....but no college that I know about does this kind of controlling process. Not sure where your parents are getting their information on this.....but don't think they have accurate information of how colleges work.

The thing is that if you eat healthy food & eat according to how your metabolism processes your food, you should be at a healthy weight & should stay there without being overweight.

I am older.....like 59.....& only dealt with anorexia problems on & off since I was 43. I found that once I got to the safe weight, I could vary around in the safe weight span without being overweight. I have an acceptable range that I will allow myself to stay within & that takes it's own level of control which I found took more control than restricting to loose weight & be unhealthy.

Maybe you need to sit down & do some negotiations with your parents.....also, you might want to talk with some colleges & see if they do that kind of control that your parents are talking about. I understand that if your parents are paying for your college, they have a right to control your weight to some extent because for you to end up underweight & in the hospital would only be wasting their money....not a wise thing for them to allow & not a wise thing for you to do in the first place.

But there is definitely a large range of weight that is above the underweight & where the overweight starts that even half way between would be a good starting point for compromise on both your parts.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Unfortunately, liberty with anorexia can seriously mean death & it's NOT worth it. I've been in the medical hospital more times than I can even remember, having a central line & IV nutrition.....it's NOT FUN & it's no way to spend your life when there are really important things that you can be doing with it at your age.

[Victoria'smom]

I would talk to my therapist about how to make a more realistic truce between you and your parents. If you want to be in recovery then when you do go to college find a community health Center. After you are 18 unless your parents have medical attorney they can't really do much.