Hello "Daddy"

Hello Daddy i see your back like never before. What do you want this time? The same only better...Remember don't tell a soul what's were doing.. Don't give into your feeling's. Our little secret just like when you were little.. Yes Daddy you go with nothing to eat or drink until i say you can..You were bad you do what i tell you. Remember when you sat on my lap? Yes i do you were on your ham radio in the kitchen eating and said you eat nothing until you touch me. So i did after that i said i'm not hungry anymore..You made me go 5 days without eating just for saying that..The more and more you did that it became more and more easy like you trained your yourself you were good at not eating nothing.. You remember the day we went to the corn field? Yes daddy that was the day you left me without nothing after you went to my private parts you than you left me there tied to the corn stocks you came back for me i made it through that without nothing to eat either..So I still know that i can do that go and go without nothing to eat cause i trained myself to do that.. But you know what Daddy? this time i also know better so i'm gonna get through this by myself that's if i can..

".....But you know what Daddy? this time i also know better so i'm gonna get through this by myself that's if i can.."

"...: just felt like it and because i can"

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((avoice)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))yes......."{you} CAN"...you said it right there, you said it twice too!!!

And, you have all these years...you've suffered, you've fought the good fight...you've helped others on the way, too!

You are avoicetobereckonedwith...avoiceNOW!...."Don't Forget Who You Are"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So YES, you CAN! with a little help from your friends??

xo....virago

Don't go back to who & what you were then....that was then & THIS IS NOW.....you can tell the difference at this point.

If you could control your not eating then, you can control your eating for your health now & for the life you have now that Daddy is no longer anywhere around except in your memory.

When your memory starts to go there.....take your control strength to put your mind onto other thoughts....I know it's difficult & at times feels impossible....but it's really possible & the only thing that will help in your healing when you get to difficult places like this when memories start to pop back into the mind. ....(I know it's difficult....but you can get through this also in a more positive way without using those survival skills that you used then.

If all else....get to your T & have your T help you process these memories right now when they are bothering you.

I went through the same thing when I was a little kid I don't often talk about it but if you ever need someone to talk with I'm here, I wouldn't mind talking about it

It's just that my father got released from prison a month ago. and is a regester sex offender and in on www.megan'slaw.com so i saw his mug shot. Haven't seen his face in over 35 years.

I understand how things like that will bring back memories....but we have to allow those memories to be like waves....it flowed in when you saw the mug shot.....you had the normal reaction that all of us would have in that situation.....now it's time to let it pass & come back to NOW.....that is the only way that WE CAN CONTROL our thoughts.....& they are controllable...I learned & have practiced that through my DBT therapy.

I do that all the time with things in the past....something triggers my remembering certain bad things.....I remember it & it really bothers me.....I let it bother me because that's the appropriate emotion & reaction......then instead of handing onto those thoughts for dear life....it's time to let them go & get back in the NOW.....so that you can be stronger the next time a trigger hits.

I love not eating Daddy it gave me a rush today..

Only thing that could allow you to feel in some level of control....that is so very understandable.....but now you don't have that same need for the same purpose in your life.....that is in the past even though the mind may not feel like it.

When we feel other things out of control in our life the same way....it also triggers that same need to feel in control & we tend to revert back to our same behavioral patterns even though now we should have better skills to handle the situations we find outselves in now. ......it's never easy to get over those past traumas

I have the drive to do whatever i want.

Good luck, and stay strong. You're already a stronger person for having survived, and living your life on your own terms.

Thinks gave me something to think about. I like it what you said..